Tabletop Tales: Significant Other Syndrome

This is a difficult one to pin down, at least for the non-experienced tabletop gamer, but if you've been playing tabletop games for any extended period of time with multiple groups, you might be familiar with this dilemma.

Allow me to paint you a picture. There you are, bored, wishing you had something to do, when a buddy calls you up about a game that's being started. Now, this game seems to be a pretty standard situation: a bunch of your friends, one of whom is being the GM, starting up a new game together just for the fun of it.

All right, things are looking up!

So, you agree, and everyone gets together for the first session. The GM's significant other is pittering about, but nothing immediately alarming. He/she's probably there to hang out on the computer or watch television in the other room right? Right? Wrong. Right when everyone is ready to start the first session, he/she sits down with their own character.

And so the madness begins.

The problem with having the significant other (or S.O., for the sake of brevity) of a GM play IN that GM's game is because the GM will, more often than not, show the S.O. preferential treatment. This preferential treatment may even go so far as to ruin the game for all the normal players that are there to have a good time.

Here are some examples that I've experienced or been told about by friends:

GM: Okay, you're being attacked by some guys. What do you do?
Player 1: I'll attack with my sword!
GM: All right, that proves ineffective.
Player 2: I attempt to cast a spell at them!
GM: The spell goes off, but they don't seem fazed by it.
S.O.: I look at the guys and send them into the core of the sun using the power of my mind!
GM: That works! The guys are incinerated horribly! Good job, sweety.
Players 1&2: ....what.

GM: All right, you defeated the dragon and his horde is there for the taking. Among the treasure is an elven Moonblade.
Player 1: Excellent! Me being the only elf, I'll just-
S.O.: I take it!
GM: All right! He/she gets the Moonblade.
Player 1: But non-elves can't even USE a Moonblade! It KILLS them if they touch it!
GM: Oh...uh...oh! He/she has a small trace of elven blood that allows he/she to use it.
S.O.: Yay!
Player 1: This is horseshit.

Player 1: Hey, why does S.O. have all these skills and abilities? He/she's like...level 9.
GM: Um...
Player 2: Really? We're only level 5.
GM: Well...we kind of do a bunch of one-on-one roleplaying after dinner/before bed/after sex, so he/she leveled up a bunch when you guys weren't here.
Players 1&2: ....
GM: But it's all completely legitimate!

There are other completely DIFFERENT kinds of Significant Other Syndrome that also cause problems at tabletop games. The above examples came primarily from the category where the S.O. actually ENJOYS and/or UNDERSTANDS the games they're playing. The next example comes in the form of when the S.O. is new to tabletop gaming and not really into it.

GM: All right, you guys are brought before the king and he addresses you regally.
Player 1: I bow before the king, showing my respect.
Player 2: I take out my sword and hold it hilt-first to him as a sign of my willingness to do his bidding.
S.O.: *yawn* *sigh* I stab him.
Players 1&2: What?!
S.O.: I'm bored!
GM: Oh! Uh...well, this happens to be a kingdom where slaying the ruler makes you the new ruler! He/she is instantly crowned the new ruler and everyone pays homage!
Players 1&2: WHAT!?!

And, of course, there's the final example where the S.O. doesn't game at all but makes a general nuisance of him/herself by distracting the GM during a session. Example:

GM: You guys are lost in the dungeon. It is dark and you can hear the sounds of approaching footsteps, possibly enemies.
Player 1: I ready myself for battle!
Player 2: I take out my shield to prepare for an unseen attack!
S.O.: Hey hunny, did I tell you what happened at work today?
GM: No, what happened?
S.O.: *talks the GM's ear off for a good hour or so, halting the game entirely*
Players 1&2: Uhh...

(This has nothing to do with my friend Pete's wife, by the way. Her stories are HILARIOUS.)

Now, don't get me wrong, there are many GMs that don't fall prey to this problem. But many do. And it's wrong. WRONG.

The moral of the story is: S.O.s are okay to play in games...as long as their counterpart isn't the GM.