Tabletop Tales: Horrible Death Posse

It's amusing, actually. I can't honestly tell if this is amoral or not.

Let me explain. My readers (readER) may remember my rant about horrible death powers earlier in my blog. Well, things just got a little more exciting for my intrepid and patient companions, Pete and Wes.

Having discovered that we've received these fun Greek/Roman god powers for the purpose of stopping the return and rise of the Titans from mythology, I figure we may need some help accomplishing this already lofty goal (cause...Janus, Hades, and Zeus are TOTALLY enough to do the job alone). So what do I do? Well...

I jump into my underworld kingdom and literally summon the entirety of HELL (Tartarus, for you scholars out there), and have them all get into one big battle royale to see who the scrappiest and toughest of the evil doers was. Well, I ended up with 10 top sinners and this is who I acquired!

10. Ragnar Lodbrok, the legendary viking warrior.
9. Agamemnon, legendary Greek mythological figure
8. Caligula, legendary Roman emperor and nutjob
7. Phil (named by me), the tattooed cannibal with filed teeth (probably from Livingston's expedition)
6. Jack the Ripper, infamous serial killer of Whitechapel
5. Steve (also my given name), a medieval warrior who renounced his faith and slew MANY
4. Jim (seeing a pattern here?), the Aztec warrior
3. Marco, a 19th century ex-military rapist and murderer
2. Cesar, the "Renaissance bastard"
1. "Ghengi", Ghengis Khan's torturer

So, now having my top 10 brawlers from Hell, I decided to outfit these fuckers with suitable and fitting equipment. How do I go about doing that? Well, I summon some blacksmiths from Elysium and order them to forge the weapons of choice for my happy posse.

• Ragnar receives a nice axe, chainmail, and helmet (no, the helmet doesn't have horns, you bastards)
• Agamemnon got a spear and hoplite armor
• Caligula wields a gladius and lorica segmentata
• Phil just wields these big butcher knife-looking thing. Something like this:

• Jack ends up with, surprise, a pair of knives
• Steve gets a nice, new set of chainmail, shield, and sword
• Jim only gets a wicked-looking obsidian knife
• Marco gets a breastplate and rapier
• Cesar gets a rapier and no armor
• Finally, Ghengi uses a bow, surprisingly. You'd think Ghengis Khan's torturer would be an up-close kinda guy. Oh, and a short sword

So, now that I've outfitted my horrible posse, I come to find out that these weapons and armor I've had made for them are not only forged in the fires of Hell, from the materials of the Underworld, by Elysium blacksmiths, but also enhance the already innate abilities of those they were made for.

This means that Ragnar will be stronger and tougher than before...Jack faster and sneakier...Caligula more blood-thirsty and wacko...man, I love this job!

I haven't heard how my moral anchors have reacted to this new development, but I did something to hopefully appease them...

I summoned Hercules to help fight this battle and keep my death posse in line. It's great being the king (of the dead), sometimes