Apparently, people actually DO read my blog posts. This includes some of those mentioned in "An Evening's Observations". One felt inclined to confront me about my opinions. I'm sure he won't appreciate this as much as what I had to say to him concerning my post, but I want everyone to see that I can back up and defend my feelings as much, if not more, than the next guy.
His name and any accompanying names of anyone mentioned have been removed, as will be certain personal facts that shouldn't be shared openly. This won't stop certain people from knowing who they are, but I'll do my best.
Here follows the exchange, unedited (I rearranged the order slightly for clarity's sake):
Him: well, this "bipolar, depressed jackass who can't garner any attention
from the ladies" (psst, by the way, I get plenty of attention, just not
from the ones I want) doesn't want the advice of someone who has just as
much, if not less, luck than I do. You can't even begin to fathom what
I'm going through, as you don't feel shit compared to me (or ((NAME REMOVED)) for
that matter). Because, oh yes, me fucking breaking down, by myself,
where no one can see me, is definitely me trying to get attention.
Me: *sigh* did you not read the disclaimer about it being my opinion and not
meant to point fingers? I'm sorry it upset you but thats how I felt
Him: how does that make it better? seriously? you think a "disclaimer" about opinions means shit to anyone?
Me: clearly not. look man, I have these opinions for a reason. I respect and love all of
my friends, yourself included, but I hate to see my friends act a
certain way because I have an outside perspective of how it looks, and,
at times, it looks stupid. I should know, Ive done stuff/still do stuff
that looks stupid to people viewing from the outside. ((NAME REMOVED)) was acting
like a complete tool last night and I was pissed at him for it
Him: heh, I'm not even sure "upset" would be a good term for what I am right
now, all I know is I'm smiling, or rather, grinning. Yeah, and you flirt
with anything that has a vagina, hence why I don't consider you a good
person to take advice from
Me: right. because Ive slept with so many girls the past several months. let me tell you a little something about how I deal with women since you seem completely oblivious to how I work. I want a girlfriend. one girl. not many. just one. but I havent had much luck finding the right one. however, I see no issues with casually enjoying myself with women that
wish to do the same with me as long as everything is open and honest
concerning what we're doing, why we're doing it, etc. which is what I do. and I do so. and will continue to do so until I meet a girl that I feel for romantically and feels the same for me
Him: so how exactly was I oblivious to that, when it simply proved my point? and I already knew all of that
Me: furthermore, there are plenty of women that I have no intention of ever sleeping with for a variety of reasons. just because Im out-going and talkative doesnt mean Im flirting ((NAME REMOVED)). though I can understand you mistaking the two
Him: oh, no, I know the difference
Me: clearly not. but thats neither here nor there
Him: you clearly underestimate me. and that's really fucking stupid. I've been underestimating myself
Me: I havent resorted to name calling in this conversation ((NAME REMOVED)), please dont do it. and, no, I dont underestimate you. I believe from the very beginning Ive been trying to tell you how good
of a guy you are and how much better of a guy you will be once you got
over your ((REMOVED)). look, you dont like me. I get it. its fine. Im used to not being liked. the point Im making is that Ill be here for you regardless if you like me or not to talk if you ever need it. Im just not going to pull teeth for you to tell me whats wrong. if you want to tell me, you will. if not, you wont. I think some of your facebook posts a bit over-dramatic. and tend to tip back and forth rather quickly. as does your mood
Him: Well no shit sherlock
Me: thus the opinions I made in my blog. but, again, those are just my opinions concerning a friends behavior that I witnessed. if you dont want to be my friend anymore, thats fine too. Ill still keep your number so you can talk to me if you need to
Him: and once again, you have no idea what I'm really going through
Me: because you dont talk to me, man. I asked if you wanted to, I put myself out there so you could share, and you said no. so dont get mad at me for not knowing. because you only have yourself to blame for that
Him: oh no no no. you don't understand what I meant. I've already said shit about the rapid and chaotic changes that I'm going through on every level
Me: uh huh
Him: what I'm saying, is you could never truly fathom them. you're not at all a metaphysical person.
Me: ah I see. well that still doesnt mean you cant tell me. youre right in that I dont believe, but that doesnt mean I cant understand to a certain extent. sure, some things Ill probably not grasp
Him: I've mentioned shit before. ((REMOVED)), remember?
Me: yes, this Im aware of
Him: that pretty sums it up, it's pretty fucking extreme. I'm constantly
feeling like a nuclear reactor about to go into a meltdown status
Me: well I cant pretend to act like I know what it feels like, but you
already know about my outside perspective opinion of its effects on you. so I accept the fact that you are going through a metaphysical thing
that I dont understand, but my opinion remains the same in how it
appears externally. in short, I respect the changes youre going through, but in the end,
anyone that doesnt understand whats going on with you, myself included, will
just see you acting like a bipolar crazy-person and I dont want people
to get the wrong idea about you. My opinions were, again, an outside
perspective of your emotions and behavior and now that youre aware of
that, I hope youll understand why my opinion was what it was. Again, Ill
be here for you, whether you like me or not, want me as a friend or not
He didn't respond after that. I'm uncertain whether this is because he had no returning argument, had to leave for some reason, didn't care to continue, or whatever else.
I'm not posting this to be an asshole and share someone else's personal issues. Quite the contrary, I'm doing this to show that I'm NOT trying to be an asshole, but rather make my opinions based on observation and do so, partially, out of irritation derived from concern.
Again, he'll hate me for this, but I'm sure he does already.
Such is the nature of being me, I suppose.
The rantings of a gamer/writer/actor/slacker kinda guy who merely is looking for the purpose in life through these mediums.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Tabletop Tales: Jason Willard - Ruiner of Games
I haven't done one of these in a while, but recent developments have given me a relatively good story to share.
Let's delve into the world of Dungeons and Dragons!
Yes, yes...the original nerd game. The granddaddy of roleplaying games (not really, but whatever). It is the one game that put roleplaying on the map and was, on average, the first roleplaying game of most gamers. It encompasses the standard fantasy epic adventure, allowing players to step into the shows of mighty warriors and powerful wizards, fighting monsters and collecting treasure.
Really standard stuff, as far as roleplaying shit was concerning.
For me, personally, D&D was the first roleplaying that I had ever played. It was, quite literally, the gateway game that opened up my interest in other RPG's. Because of D&D, I'm the gamer that I am now.
This all being said, I haven't played a 3.5 edition (my preferred edition) D&D game in quite some time. When my roommates friend, Dan, offered to run a game, I obviously jumped at the opportunity. I made a barbarian/sorcerer for the express purpose of playing a prestige class (that's a specialized, bonus class, for you uninitiated) called a rage mage. The whole point of my build was to be the strongest member of the party and hit things really hard.
The party was tasked with capturing, preferably alive, this wizard that would know something about what was happening with the weather and seasons. Pretty standard "go here, do this" kind of adventure. We set out, made it to the wizard's tower, scaled it without much effort, and proceeded to confront the spellcaster we were after.
Before I continue, I must paint the picture of the scene for you.
We kick in the door to the topmost level of the tower and enter into the wizard's study. He's sitting there behind a desk. Floating above the desk is this "powerful-looking orb". Behind the desk and wizard is a window. We exchange some words, something like this:
Us - "We were sent to bring you back."
Wizard - "I'm not going."
Us - "We're taking you with us whether you want to or not."
Wizard - "Fuck you, here are some golems to fight."
So the stubborn fucker summons four golems to fight us, two on either side of him. I noticed that the desk in front of the wizard and the wizard himself were completely unprotected from the front.
An idea started to brew.
A CRAZY idea.
I win initiative for combat. My character, who is already juiced up on magical strength spells and whatnot, decides he's going to do try and end the fight immediately. Now listen closely because this is exactly what his/my plan was: He was going to charge/bull rush the wizard's desk, knocking it, and the wizard, back several feet into the window with enough force to knock him out but not enough force to break the window. Additionally, if the window DID break and he fell out, we had people who could fly and catch him. No biggie.
However, this is what ACTUALLY happened as per the DM's description: My character charges/bull rushes the desk, the desk shatters upon impact, the powerful-looking orb shatters on impact, and the wizard gets pushed through the window.
Great.
The DM, unaware of what my intentions were, decided that the orb that was integral to the plot of his whole game, was shattered by my character's actions. After it occurred, he ranted and raved for about half an hour about how I ruined his story and he needed an extended break to think of where to go with it.
When the group reconvened after a few cigarettes and more ranting on the DM's part, he thus gifted me with the title of "Ruiner of Games". Everyone else had mixed reactions.
I thought it was the funniest damned thing.
Let's delve into the world of Dungeons and Dragons!
Yes, yes...the original nerd game. The granddaddy of roleplaying games (not really, but whatever). It is the one game that put roleplaying on the map and was, on average, the first roleplaying game of most gamers. It encompasses the standard fantasy epic adventure, allowing players to step into the shows of mighty warriors and powerful wizards, fighting monsters and collecting treasure.
Really standard stuff, as far as roleplaying shit was concerning.
For me, personally, D&D was the first roleplaying that I had ever played. It was, quite literally, the gateway game that opened up my interest in other RPG's. Because of D&D, I'm the gamer that I am now.
This all being said, I haven't played a 3.5 edition (my preferred edition) D&D game in quite some time. When my roommates friend, Dan, offered to run a game, I obviously jumped at the opportunity. I made a barbarian/sorcerer for the express purpose of playing a prestige class (that's a specialized, bonus class, for you uninitiated) called a rage mage. The whole point of my build was to be the strongest member of the party and hit things really hard.
 |
| I couldn't find an appropriate picture, so here's a kitten! |
Before I continue, I must paint the picture of the scene for you.
We kick in the door to the topmost level of the tower and enter into the wizard's study. He's sitting there behind a desk. Floating above the desk is this "powerful-looking orb". Behind the desk and wizard is a window. We exchange some words, something like this:
Us - "We were sent to bring you back."
Wizard - "I'm not going."
Us - "We're taking you with us whether you want to or not."
Wizard - "Fuck you, here are some golems to fight."
So the stubborn fucker summons four golems to fight us, two on either side of him. I noticed that the desk in front of the wizard and the wizard himself were completely unprotected from the front.
An idea started to brew.
A CRAZY idea.
I win initiative for combat. My character, who is already juiced up on magical strength spells and whatnot, decides he's going to do try and end the fight immediately. Now listen closely because this is exactly what his/my plan was: He was going to charge/bull rush the wizard's desk, knocking it, and the wizard, back several feet into the window with enough force to knock him out but not enough force to break the window. Additionally, if the window DID break and he fell out, we had people who could fly and catch him. No biggie.
However, this is what ACTUALLY happened as per the DM's description: My character charges/bull rushes the desk, the desk shatters upon impact, the powerful-looking orb shatters on impact, and the wizard gets pushed through the window.
Great.
The DM, unaware of what my intentions were, decided that the orb that was integral to the plot of his whole game, was shattered by my character's actions. After it occurred, he ranted and raved for about half an hour about how I ruined his story and he needed an extended break to think of where to go with it.
When the group reconvened after a few cigarettes and more ranting on the DM's part, he thus gifted me with the title of "Ruiner of Games". Everyone else had mixed reactions.
I thought it was the funniest damned thing.
An Evening's Observations
I once read, rather recently actually, that "those who give the best advice are usually the ones with the most problems".
Now, I have to admit, in my case there seems to be a lot of truth to this. Don't worry, readers, this isn't another depressing rant, I swear! Just observational analysis of an evening's activities.
From here on in, I'll carefully not include the dates and names of people and locations to cover my tracks to avoid hurt feelings. This isn't meant to call anyone in particular out, or anything...just share my thoughts openly. Nothing more.
So I went to this gathering recently and I walk in a bit early and I find a sparse few friends there but the bulk of the people had yet to arrive. I make my way to a female friend that I had known for a few years, off and on. I engage her in conversation concerning a mutual friend and his behavior recently.
The behavior in question has become, in my opinion, very tiresome. I understand the guy is going through a lot of stuff, but the emotional roller coaster he seems to be on seems less like him trying to deal with his problems and more like trying to get attention. Again, this isn't what is actually happening...just my views on it. This individual constantly acts like a bipolar, depressed jackass and he wonders why he can't garner any female interest. I've tried, on a few occasions, to give him advice, since he's CLEARLY lacking in any common sense on how to conduct himself. However, each time I get blown off.
Such is life, I suppose.
I continue the evening as people begin to trickle in over the course of the next hour, hour-and-a-half. I say my usual hellos to everyone I know and have a few forced laughs. I say forced because I typically force myself to chuckle at such interactions for the sake of appearances.
No one likes to associate with a stone-faced jerk, y'know?
I listen to everyone discuss their current problems and wonder "What's the point?". I'm not saying this to be rude, but I honestly don't understand why people harp on and on about their issues like it's the most fascinating piece of news to arise in the past months. I have problems, too, but here is an example of how much I typically talk about them:
Some person - "Hey, Jason! How's life?"
Me - "Could be better, could be worse. Still looking for a job."
Some person - "Aw, that sucks!"
Me - *shrugs* "Yeah, I've applied all over, but that's life."
And that's it. No long rant. Maybe a bit more detailed info pertaining to where I applied recently, but that's it. Nothing else.
Do you intrepid readers know why I don't discuss my problems? Because it's fucking boring.
There was recently a Cracked article about shit everyone talks about and thinks people care about listening to, but actually don't. I only remember the entry into the article about babies, but I'm certain "long-winded rants about your problems" is on my personal list of the same topic.
I know this makes me sound heartless, but nobody likes hearing you go on for an hour about how the military screwed you, or how that motherfucking roommate trashed your stuff.
Anyway, the evening continues. I, as always, take an interest in new and attractive females that are around. Not creepy stalkerishness, of course, but if I'm presented with striking up a conversation with them, I do so. Fortunately, the opportunity presents itself for a couple of the ones I spot the group discusses faith and individual stances on it. Not much is derived from this beyond initial contact, but it's a start in possibly garnering new relationships and friendships.
I detach myself from that conversation and proceed to wander a bit, hopefully finding an opportunity to insert myself into another discussion. Such an opportunity doesn't present itself, but that happens.
After a time, I spot another friend who is with, I would guess, is her "boyfriend" or whatever you'd like to call it. Now, this brings up another fascinating point I'd like to discuss: the insistence of girls to date complete idiots.
This guy, by all appearances, seemed like an idiot. He was one of those typical white-ghetto thug types. He wore a sports cap turned to the side, a sports jersey, tattoos everywhere, listened to rap music, and talked like he had stopped furthering his education at the fifth grade level. I don't like to judge people based on what they wear or how they look...that's one of the lowest levels of despicable that I can think of. That's why I always keep my ears open to see how people conduct themselves, or actively engage them in conversation, to judge the type of person they are.
Suffice it to say, my initial judgements were right. The guy was a tool. And a moron.
I say this because the girl in question seems nice enough. I'm not certain of her level of intelligence, but I'd imagine it's higher than this guy's. The point I'm ultimately making is my lack of understanding on why a girl like her would date/be in a relationship/whatever with a guy like him.
And before the comments about me being jealous start getting slung around, I'll say this: I have no interest in this particular girl. Yes, she's attractive, but attractiveness alone does not make for sincere interest at least on my part. My observations are merely an academic curiosity about why women date certain guys when they clearly seem to be lacking in any kind of intelligence, sense of identity, sincerity, etc.
Ah, well. Then there was the "enjoyment" I derived from watching a really good friend of mine babysit someone he barely knew for a reason I'm not certain he fully understood because he was asked to by another friend and he did it to fit in. I'm actually happy that this particular friend of mine is making strides in being more outgoing and making new friends, but it's irritating to see him act like that because he wants to fit in. Which is ultimately all it is. That, and/or his dumb sense of chivalry.
Now, I believe in chivalry too. However, when you're stuck babysitting some crazy girl who has issues that run as deep as the Marianas Trench because you feel you have some dumb sense of obligation to do so, you're taking it too far. Opening doors? Fine. Pulling out chairs? Great. Coming to the aid of a lady if she's legitimately in trouble (i.e. physically hurt, being attacked, etc.)? Acceptable. Watching over someone you don't really know because some OTHER friend says that they need "protection" from some poorly defined thing? Dumb.
But I can see why he does it. I don't agree with him doing it, but can see why.
I tried lightly flirting with a few girls because, well, that's how I am. Strangely enough, it fell rather forced this time, so I quickly stopped doing it after a few minutes.
Eventually, the night wore on, I grew bored, people left one-by-one, and eventually I left too.
I returned to my home, sat down, and wrote this entry. I don't know if anyone is going to read this or not, but who the fuck cares? It's not like I post on here for anyone elses benefit.
EDIT: Apparently, certain individuals spoken of in this article have read it. Again, I must emphasize that these are my opinions and I apologize if it upsets you, but I will not take back what I have said. I have great respect and love for my friends and hate seeing them act certain ways because I can see how it looks externally. It looks stupid. And I would hate to look stupid to people watching me from the outside of whatever it is I'm doing (it's happened and still does happen to me).
Now, I have to admit, in my case there seems to be a lot of truth to this. Don't worry, readers, this isn't another depressing rant, I swear! Just observational analysis of an evening's activities.
From here on in, I'll carefully not include the dates and names of people and locations to cover my tracks to avoid hurt feelings. This isn't meant to call anyone in particular out, or anything...just share my thoughts openly. Nothing more.
So I went to this gathering recently and I walk in a bit early and I find a sparse few friends there but the bulk of the people had yet to arrive. I make my way to a female friend that I had known for a few years, off and on. I engage her in conversation concerning a mutual friend and his behavior recently.
The behavior in question has become, in my opinion, very tiresome. I understand the guy is going through a lot of stuff, but the emotional roller coaster he seems to be on seems less like him trying to deal with his problems and more like trying to get attention. Again, this isn't what is actually happening...just my views on it. This individual constantly acts like a bipolar, depressed jackass and he wonders why he can't garner any female interest. I've tried, on a few occasions, to give him advice, since he's CLEARLY lacking in any common sense on how to conduct himself. However, each time I get blown off.
Such is life, I suppose.
I continue the evening as people begin to trickle in over the course of the next hour, hour-and-a-half. I say my usual hellos to everyone I know and have a few forced laughs. I say forced because I typically force myself to chuckle at such interactions for the sake of appearances.
No one likes to associate with a stone-faced jerk, y'know?
I listen to everyone discuss their current problems and wonder "What's the point?". I'm not saying this to be rude, but I honestly don't understand why people harp on and on about their issues like it's the most fascinating piece of news to arise in the past months. I have problems, too, but here is an example of how much I typically talk about them:
Some person - "Hey, Jason! How's life?"
Me - "Could be better, could be worse. Still looking for a job."
Some person - "Aw, that sucks!"
Me - *shrugs* "Yeah, I've applied all over, but that's life."
And that's it. No long rant. Maybe a bit more detailed info pertaining to where I applied recently, but that's it. Nothing else.
Do you intrepid readers know why I don't discuss my problems? Because it's fucking boring.
There was recently a Cracked article about shit everyone talks about and thinks people care about listening to, but actually don't. I only remember the entry into the article about babies, but I'm certain "long-winded rants about your problems" is on my personal list of the same topic.
I know this makes me sound heartless, but nobody likes hearing you go on for an hour about how the military screwed you, or how that motherfucking roommate trashed your stuff.
Anyway, the evening continues. I, as always, take an interest in new and attractive females that are around. Not creepy stalkerishness, of course, but if I'm presented with striking up a conversation with them, I do so. Fortunately, the opportunity presents itself for a couple of the ones I spot the group discusses faith and individual stances on it. Not much is derived from this beyond initial contact, but it's a start in possibly garnering new relationships and friendships.
I detach myself from that conversation and proceed to wander a bit, hopefully finding an opportunity to insert myself into another discussion. Such an opportunity doesn't present itself, but that happens.
After a time, I spot another friend who is with, I would guess, is her "boyfriend" or whatever you'd like to call it. Now, this brings up another fascinating point I'd like to discuss: the insistence of girls to date complete idiots.
This guy, by all appearances, seemed like an idiot. He was one of those typical white-ghetto thug types. He wore a sports cap turned to the side, a sports jersey, tattoos everywhere, listened to rap music, and talked like he had stopped furthering his education at the fifth grade level. I don't like to judge people based on what they wear or how they look...that's one of the lowest levels of despicable that I can think of. That's why I always keep my ears open to see how people conduct themselves, or actively engage them in conversation, to judge the type of person they are.
Suffice it to say, my initial judgements were right. The guy was a tool. And a moron.
I say this because the girl in question seems nice enough. I'm not certain of her level of intelligence, but I'd imagine it's higher than this guy's. The point I'm ultimately making is my lack of understanding on why a girl like her would date/be in a relationship/whatever with a guy like him.
And before the comments about me being jealous start getting slung around, I'll say this: I have no interest in this particular girl. Yes, she's attractive, but attractiveness alone does not make for sincere interest at least on my part. My observations are merely an academic curiosity about why women date certain guys when they clearly seem to be lacking in any kind of intelligence, sense of identity, sincerity, etc.
Ah, well. Then there was the "enjoyment" I derived from watching a really good friend of mine babysit someone he barely knew for a reason I'm not certain he fully understood because he was asked to by another friend and he did it to fit in. I'm actually happy that this particular friend of mine is making strides in being more outgoing and making new friends, but it's irritating to see him act like that because he wants to fit in. Which is ultimately all it is. That, and/or his dumb sense of chivalry.
Now, I believe in chivalry too. However, when you're stuck babysitting some crazy girl who has issues that run as deep as the Marianas Trench because you feel you have some dumb sense of obligation to do so, you're taking it too far. Opening doors? Fine. Pulling out chairs? Great. Coming to the aid of a lady if she's legitimately in trouble (i.e. physically hurt, being attacked, etc.)? Acceptable. Watching over someone you don't really know because some OTHER friend says that they need "protection" from some poorly defined thing? Dumb.
But I can see why he does it. I don't agree with him doing it, but can see why.
I tried lightly flirting with a few girls because, well, that's how I am. Strangely enough, it fell rather forced this time, so I quickly stopped doing it after a few minutes.
Eventually, the night wore on, I grew bored, people left one-by-one, and eventually I left too.
I returned to my home, sat down, and wrote this entry. I don't know if anyone is going to read this or not, but who the fuck cares? It's not like I post on here for anyone elses benefit.
EDIT: Apparently, certain individuals spoken of in this article have read it. Again, I must emphasize that these are my opinions and I apologize if it upsets you, but I will not take back what I have said. I have great respect and love for my friends and hate seeing them act certain ways because I can see how it looks externally. It looks stupid. And I would hate to look stupid to people watching me from the outside of whatever it is I'm doing (it's happened and still does happen to me).
Sunday, May 20, 2012
FREE PUPPY
I...I got a little desperate for dates...
FREE puppy!
EDIT: Man, that got flagged quick!
Screenshot of my work!
FREE puppy!
EDIT: Man, that got flagged quick!
Screenshot of my work!
Friday, May 18, 2012
First Thanksgiving Alone: A Play-by-Play of the Average Slacker
This is my first Thanksgiving alone, so I figured I would chronicle the amazingly epic experience of spending it alone for all my readers to enjoy. Let's dive in!
8:15 am: Roommate wakes me up to ask if I can give him a ride to work in an hour. I, being the level-headed individual that I am, hurl a sword in his general direction. Apparently, I muttered something about agreeing to it.
9:15 am: I stumble out of the sheet on the floor that I count as my bed and find my roommate. He casually informs me that it's 40 degrees out. I hate him a little more with each passing moment.
9:20 am: I proceed to put on layers consisting of pajama pants, jeans, a Middle Eastern kurtas, a leather jacket, my slippers, and my newly-acquired Spider-Man crochet hat. I am the cold weather warrior.
9:30 am: I take my roommate to his soul-crushing corporate-owned retail job that doesn't even close on one of the two big holidays of the year. I would fear more for his existence if I actually cared more.
9:45 am: I return home and settle into the couch. My OTHER roommate heads out to go to her family's place. I feel a slight pang of regret that I can't do the same thing, but realize that I can fill that void with leftover pizza.
9:50 am: Filling the void never tasted so good.
10:00 am: I settle into the couch with Netflix playing on the main computer and my laptop in front of me. My phone next to me and wireless mouse connected to the Netflix computer. Beside THAT a mountain of sodas. All in all, my setup is a monument to utter laziness and desire to never get up from this spot.
11:30 am: Decide to write this article in hopes that someone may find it amusing.
11:35 am: Realize that writing an article about my Thanksgiving alone is coolant-drinkingly depressing.
11:37 am: I start adding liquor to my sodas.
1:00 pm: After several hours straight of watching Scrubs and the dawning realization that none of my roomies will actually be returning anytime soon, I decide to do what any sensible person would: throw myself into a fantasy world.
1:01 pm: I turn on Skyrim for the first time. God save me.
4:07 pm: I realize what a horrible person I am as I steal from every character I come across and then sell them back their own belongings. I decide to save what little self respect I have and quit Skyrim for now.
4:08 pm: I also now realize that 4.5 hours of consistent drinking have had the adverse effect of making the characters in Skyrim address me directly. I'm thinking I used too much vodka. Or that I used just the right amount of vodka over a period of several hours.
4:30 pm: Going back to watch Scrubs. However, there seems to be a pink-clad ninja in the corner watching me watch Scrubs. This could be bad.
5:00 pm: The ninja isn't actually a bad guy. He's politely informed me that he's merely the Thanksgiving ninja, roaming the land for people alone on the holiday to keep them company. He's also arranging all the shoes in the apartment in some strange order involving color, size, material, style, and how often they're worn. I casually let him know that his efforts are in vain, that his work will be destroyed upon my roommates' return. He casually responds by telling me to shut up and drink more.
5:01 pm: I do what the ninja tells me to.
5:15 pm: I don't remember the characters in Scrubs being able to climb walls like Spider-Man. I then realize that I've lied down on my side.
5:49 pm: I don't remember how, but I've somehow found my way to bathroom. The toilet, I realize, looks incredibly inviting. I proceed to hug it for a while. Go team.
6:49 pm: Mr. Toilet wakes me up from my nap and I stumble my way back to the main room. I trip over a basket I didn't remember being there. I damn my roommates to blackest pits of hell for their negligence. I could use a smoke.
6:53 pm: I now realize that Mother Nature is against me and refuses to let me go out and smoke in comfort. I knew this day would come and I am prepared.
6:55 pm: Letting Mother nature know that you are not her bitch by stepping onto your parking lot-side balcony nude is CLEARLY the best use of my time. The pride I feel in my manliness is almost worth the shrinkage that occurs. Almost.
6:58 pm: My penis gets stuck to a cold railing. Uh-oh.
7:25 pm: After a carefully executed MacGuyver-esque maneuver involving a lighter, one of the balcony chairs, and a nearby squirrel, I finally free my junk from it's icy prison and quickly make my way back inside. I believe my point was made.
9:46 pm: I wake up, vaguely remembering a decision to warm myself up with more liquor. The Netflix has timed out, my sodas are empty, I've eaten all the leftover pizza, and no one has texted/called me. I briefly consider condemning my soul to another few hours of Skyrim, but I reconsider.
9:50 pm: I fall asleep.
The next day, I woke up to find my roommates returning from their various homes. At some point in the night, I had proceeded to mix all of the shampoos into one big tub, leaving a note simply stating "This is for the weekend."
Dammit.
I really wish I could remember what that was for. HAD to have been important.
8:15 am: Roommate wakes me up to ask if I can give him a ride to work in an hour. I, being the level-headed individual that I am, hurl a sword in his general direction. Apparently, I muttered something about agreeing to it.
9:15 am: I stumble out of the sheet on the floor that I count as my bed and find my roommate. He casually informs me that it's 40 degrees out. I hate him a little more with each passing moment.
9:20 am: I proceed to put on layers consisting of pajama pants, jeans, a Middle Eastern kurtas, a leather jacket, my slippers, and my newly-acquired Spider-Man crochet hat. I am the cold weather warrior.
9:30 am: I take my roommate to his soul-crushing corporate-owned retail job that doesn't even close on one of the two big holidays of the year. I would fear more for his existence if I actually cared more.
9:45 am: I return home and settle into the couch. My OTHER roommate heads out to go to her family's place. I feel a slight pang of regret that I can't do the same thing, but realize that I can fill that void with leftover pizza.
9:50 am: Filling the void never tasted so good.
10:00 am: I settle into the couch with Netflix playing on the main computer and my laptop in front of me. My phone next to me and wireless mouse connected to the Netflix computer. Beside THAT a mountain of sodas. All in all, my setup is a monument to utter laziness and desire to never get up from this spot.
11:30 am: Decide to write this article in hopes that someone may find it amusing.
11:35 am: Realize that writing an article about my Thanksgiving alone is coolant-drinkingly depressing.
11:37 am: I start adding liquor to my sodas.
1:00 pm: After several hours straight of watching Scrubs and the dawning realization that none of my roomies will actually be returning anytime soon, I decide to do what any sensible person would: throw myself into a fantasy world.
1:01 pm: I turn on Skyrim for the first time. God save me.
4:07 pm: I realize what a horrible person I am as I steal from every character I come across and then sell them back their own belongings. I decide to save what little self respect I have and quit Skyrim for now.
4:08 pm: I also now realize that 4.5 hours of consistent drinking have had the adverse effect of making the characters in Skyrim address me directly. I'm thinking I used too much vodka. Or that I used just the right amount of vodka over a period of several hours.
4:30 pm: Going back to watch Scrubs. However, there seems to be a pink-clad ninja in the corner watching me watch Scrubs. This could be bad.
5:00 pm: The ninja isn't actually a bad guy. He's politely informed me that he's merely the Thanksgiving ninja, roaming the land for people alone on the holiday to keep them company. He's also arranging all the shoes in the apartment in some strange order involving color, size, material, style, and how often they're worn. I casually let him know that his efforts are in vain, that his work will be destroyed upon my roommates' return. He casually responds by telling me to shut up and drink more.
5:01 pm: I do what the ninja tells me to.
5:15 pm: I don't remember the characters in Scrubs being able to climb walls like Spider-Man. I then realize that I've lied down on my side.
5:49 pm: I don't remember how, but I've somehow found my way to bathroom. The toilet, I realize, looks incredibly inviting. I proceed to hug it for a while. Go team.
6:49 pm: Mr. Toilet wakes me up from my nap and I stumble my way back to the main room. I trip over a basket I didn't remember being there. I damn my roommates to blackest pits of hell for their negligence. I could use a smoke.
6:53 pm: I now realize that Mother Nature is against me and refuses to let me go out and smoke in comfort. I knew this day would come and I am prepared.
6:55 pm: Letting Mother nature know that you are not her bitch by stepping onto your parking lot-side balcony nude is CLEARLY the best use of my time. The pride I feel in my manliness is almost worth the shrinkage that occurs. Almost.
6:58 pm: My penis gets stuck to a cold railing. Uh-oh.
7:25 pm: After a carefully executed MacGuyver-esque maneuver involving a lighter, one of the balcony chairs, and a nearby squirrel, I finally free my junk from it's icy prison and quickly make my way back inside. I believe my point was made.
9:46 pm: I wake up, vaguely remembering a decision to warm myself up with more liquor. The Netflix has timed out, my sodas are empty, I've eaten all the leftover pizza, and no one has texted/called me. I briefly consider condemning my soul to another few hours of Skyrim, but I reconsider.
9:50 pm: I fall asleep.
The next day, I woke up to find my roommates returning from their various homes. At some point in the night, I had proceeded to mix all of the shampoos into one big tub, leaving a note simply stating "This is for the weekend."
Dammit.
I really wish I could remember what that was for. HAD to have been important.
Tabletop Character Theme Songs!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I'm back! I know it's been MONTHS (fucking MONTHS, for fuck's sake!) since I posted but I'm back now and hopefully will be putting up new content on a slightly more consistent basis!
All of that being said, this particular article was inspired by a late night evening with my roomie and best buddy Wes. I was keeping Wes up with talks of the various roleplaying games that we were in at the time or previously. This conversation, as per usual, led to a discussion of our favorite characters. This, in turn, led to a discussion about what the theme songs for our characters would be.
Me, being the type of gamer that I am, had already picked out theme songs for some of my favorite characters. This is a brief list of theme songs that I had chosen for my own characters or my friends characters.
Should be fun, right?
Therefore, the song I choose for this character is:
Therefore, I believe this song choice is best. Sidenote - Wes actually picked this one. I approve of his selecting abilities:
This in mind, I chose this song:
I believe this song does him the justice he deserves:
Before I continue, I feel the need to share the theme songs for the remaining members of this campaign's party. We each actually picked our own themes and I recorded all of theme. I won't go into detail about each specific character, but I'm sure you can get a general idea of the tone from the collection.
It actually took me a while to find this song, but I believe it's the most fitting:
Because of his Japanese origin, carefree and upbeat attitude, and general badassery, I chose this song for Bones (Wes approved):
Here's the song:
I'm sure I could think of songs for more of my own characters or characters belonging to other friends of mine, but I'm mainly sticking to ones that jumped out at me. Or ones that I'd had in my head for a while.
Okay, I'm just lazy.
However, I did come up with a few group theme songs. Here we go!
Therefore, the clear choice was:
I give you...that music:
And that's all I have for now, intrepid readers! If I come up with more, I might do another of these for my own amusement. For now, however, this is a pretty comprehensive list covering my favorite characters and games.
I hope you enjoyed reading it and promise to work on bringing new material back to the blog!
 |
| My punishment will be swift |
All of that being said, this particular article was inspired by a late night evening with my roomie and best buddy Wes. I was keeping Wes up with talks of the various roleplaying games that we were in at the time or previously. This conversation, as per usual, led to a discussion of our favorite characters. This, in turn, led to a discussion about what the theme songs for our characters would be.
Me, being the type of gamer that I am, had already picked out theme songs for some of my favorite characters. This is a brief list of theme songs that I had chosen for my own characters or my friends characters.
Should be fun, right?
- The Shaper - (Amber)
Therefore, the song I choose for this character is:
- The Monster (pre-angel) - (Amber)
Therefore, I believe this song choice is best. Sidenote - Wes actually picked this one. I approve of his selecting abilities:
- The Monster (post-angel) - (Amber)
This in mind, I chose this song:
- Pak-cha - (Dungeons and Dragons 3.5 ed)
I believe this song does him the justice he deserves:
Before I continue, I feel the need to share the theme songs for the remaining members of this campaign's party. We each actually picked our own themes and I recorded all of theme. I won't go into detail about each specific character, but I'm sure you can get a general idea of the tone from the collection.
Xeahvyn’s Theme –
Animal I Have Become (totally ripped this off from her, I admit)
Bruce’s Theme – Bat Out of Hell
Tsiona’s Theme – Devil’s Daughter
Tailoc’s Theme – Bard’s Song
Greth’s Theme – Bodies
Korn’s Theme – Headstrong
Razgriz’s Theme – Go Into the Water
Kee’ari-Uh’s Theme – Master of Puppets
Darkmane’s Theme – Castratikron
- Wires - (Shadowrun)
It actually took me a while to find this song, but I believe it's the most fitting:
- Bones - (Shadowrun)
Because of his Japanese origin, carefree and upbeat attitude, and general badassery, I chose this song for Bones (Wes approved):
- Lei Sheng - (Shadowrun)
Here's the song:
I'm sure I could think of songs for more of my own characters or characters belonging to other friends of mine, but I'm mainly sticking to ones that jumped out at me. Or ones that I'd had in my head for a while.
Okay, I'm just lazy.
However, I did come up with a few group theme songs. Here we go!
- Shadowrunning Team Theme
Therefore, the clear choice was:
- Amber Party Theme
I give you...that music:
And that's all I have for now, intrepid readers! If I come up with more, I might do another of these for my own amusement. For now, however, this is a pretty comprehensive list covering my favorite characters and games.
I hope you enjoyed reading it and promise to work on bringing new material back to the blog!
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