Tabletop Tales: Jason Willard - Ruiner of Games

I haven't done one of these in a while, but recent developments have given me a relatively good story to share.

Let's delve into the world of Dungeons and Dragons!

Yes, yes...the original nerd game. The granddaddy of roleplaying games (not really, but whatever). It is the one game that put roleplaying on the map and was, on average, the first roleplaying game of most gamers. It encompasses the standard fantasy epic adventure, allowing players to step into the shows of mighty warriors and powerful wizards, fighting monsters and collecting treasure.

Really standard stuff, as far as roleplaying shit was concerning.

For me, personally, D&D was the first roleplaying that I had ever played. It was, quite literally, the gateway game that opened up my interest in other RPG's. Because of D&D, I'm the gamer that I am now.

This all being said, I haven't played a 3.5 edition (my preferred edition) D&D game in quite some time. When my roommates friend, Dan, offered to run a game, I obviously jumped at the opportunity. I made a barbarian/sorcerer for the express purpose of playing a prestige class (that's a specialized, bonus class, for you uninitiated) called a rage mage. The whole point of my build was to be the strongest member of the party and hit things really hard.

I couldn't find an appropriate picture, so here's a kitten!

The party was tasked with capturing, preferably alive, this wizard that would know something about what was happening with the weather and seasons. Pretty standard "go here, do this" kind of adventure. We set out, made it to the wizard's tower, scaled it without much effort, and proceeded to confront the spellcaster we were after.

Before I continue, I must paint the picture of the scene for you.

We kick in the door to the topmost level of the tower and enter into the wizard's study. He's sitting there behind a desk. Floating above the desk is this "powerful-looking orb". Behind the desk and wizard is a window. We exchange some words, something like this:

Us - "We were sent to bring you back."
Wizard - "I'm not going."
Us - "We're taking you with us whether you want to or not."
Wizard - "Fuck you, here are some golems to fight."

So the stubborn fucker summons four golems to fight us, two on either side of him. I noticed that the desk in front of the wizard and the wizard himself were completely unprotected from the front.

An idea started to brew.

A CRAZY idea.

I win initiative for combat. My character, who is already juiced up on magical strength spells and whatnot, decides he's going to do try and end the fight immediately. Now listen closely because this is exactly what his/my plan was: He was going to charge/bull rush the wizard's desk, knocking it, and the wizard, back several feet into the window with enough force to knock him out but not enough force to break the window. Additionally, if the window DID break and he fell out, we had people who could fly and catch him. No biggie.

However, this is what ACTUALLY happened as per the DM's description: My character charges/bull rushes the desk, the desk shatters upon impact, the powerful-looking orb shatters on impact, and the wizard gets pushed through the window.

Great.

The DM, unaware of what my intentions were, decided that the orb that was integral to the plot of his whole game, was shattered by my character's actions. After it occurred, he ranted and raved for about half an hour about how I ruined his story and he needed an extended break to think of where to go with it.

When the group reconvened after a few cigarettes and more ranting on the DM's part, he thus gifted me with the title of "Ruiner of Games". Everyone else had mixed reactions.

 I thought it was the funniest damned thing.