Pentatonix and what constitutes "shit"

I love Pentatonix.

They're one of the newest acquisitions to my very small category of "groups I like". I say this because it's rare for me to like the majority of a group's body of work. Oftentimes, I'll enjoy a few songs of a group, but rarely many or most of them.

This is not the case for Pentatonix. I think they're a capalla style of top 40 and modern hits is astoundingly great and amazingly original. I think the group's dynamic is both diverse but also held so well together that it forms into a woven tapestry of melodic enjoyment.

And this isn't the first time this has happened.

As a matter of fact, I believe Youtube has introduced me to many groups/acts/artists whose bodies of work I enjoy as wholes. I suppose this is because Youtube is a medium through which the viewer can experience unfiltered, unprocessed, unstudio'd groups. It's just raw talent being spilled onto the internet. But, I'll get more to that in a bit.

A couple other groups I love that have grown from Youtube.

My Favorite Martian

and Walk Off the Earth

But this article isn't about those groups (though you should check them out if you have a chance). This is about Pentatonix and one video of theirs in particular.

This one:

This video is of the group doing a cover of Nicki Minaj's "Starships".

Here's the original:

Okay, now that I've sullied my good blog with a Nicki Minja video (no offense, but the only work she was involved in that I enjoyed was "The Creep" by Lonely Island), I can discuss my purpose in writing this.

In the comments section of the Pentatonix cover, one Youtube user goes on to simply state that the group "turns shit to gold", implying that he wasn't a fan of the original. This incited a flame war in the comments between the supporters and haters of Nicki Minaj. I wanted to add my two cents into the debate/war, but realized how pointless that would be in a Youtube comments section (seriously, it's like peeing into the ocean, y'know?).

So, instead, I thought I'd discuss my thoughts here where people that actually give a shit will read them.

When discussing what constitutes what's "shit" or "bad" where music is concerned (or any sort of mainstream entertainment), one has to remember that many studios take artists, not necessarily for their musical talent, but rather because those artists are "marketable". Let's look at a few examples, starting with Nicki Minaj of course. I won't say her rendition of the song is "bad" but Pentatronix's version of the song, while still maintaining the same catchiness of the original, comes across far more melodic, heartfelt, and enjoyable for the senses than Minaj's.

The video's are also a stark contrast of each other. Pentatronix's version maintains that same heartfelt feeling with their video, complimenting their rendition of the song, without the big budget I'm sure Minaj's had. Minaj's on the other hand...well...it looks like an excuse to show her in a bikini. Not that they needed an excuse to do this, but you see my point (hopefully).

Let's look at another mainstream artist...Katy Perry. I will be the first to admit that Ms. Perry has many catchy songs that even I've fallen victim to the effects of. "E.T.", "California Girls", "Hot n Cold" all have burrowed their ways into my head at one point or another to nest comfortably in my thoughts. However, I've watched many videos of her LIVE performances. Have any of you? Yes? No? Maybe? Drunk? Whatever. I'll fill you in if you haven't: she's TERRIBLE.

Katy Perry can NOT song in real life. I originally thought that she could because I hadn't heard any proof of otherwise, but the moment that I listened to that first live performance and all the subsequent ones thereafter, I knew better. Perry is an example of mainstream music not being about the talent anymore, but the image. People like WOtE, PTX, and YFM are missed completely in favor of these idiotic celebrities that are dolled up and autotuned by these record labels for the sole purpose of money.

The studios and labels don't realize that the same money could be made from pure talent, like it was in the old days. They just have to look.

They just. Have. To look.

Acquaintances

I haven't been doing nearly as much story writing as I used to. However, upon looking through my old Facebook notes, I found quite the collection of short tales that I had written and posted on there. This one was from three years ago. I wrote it as a means of finally letting go of some anger I held from my college days.

I hope you enjoy, and try not to mind the grammatical errors.

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Within the bustling metropolitan of New York City there resides a small café. Not too far out of the way from the main foot-traffic, the café generates good business amongst the throngs of city-dwellers. Business brought in mostly by actors and other pretentious types who find small cafes such as this to be within their realm of “good taste”, patronage was slow on this particular day.

Sitting at a table outside, enjoying the warm late-June air, were two women.
The first was a beautiful young woman in her mid-twenties. Her long curly black hair brought back into a ponytail accentuating the delicate curve of her face. Her bright blue eyes shone with happiness that they hadn’t only a couple years prior. Dressed in somewhat popular attire, she came across as attempting to have her own style while still maintaining the status quo of fashion.

The second was another young woman, also in her mid-twenties. Her short blonde hair pulled back on top but not around the sides as it reached to about her shoulders. Her blue eyes, not as bright as the first woman’s, danced in the sunlight. Dressed in equally pseudo-fashion, she seemed to match her friend.

The two women sat over cups of whatever beverage they had decided upon, possibly tea, and talked of nothing in particular. It seemed to be a ritual they shared, coming to this café, discussing life, enjoying their overpriced cups of beverage, and generally whiling the day away with no particular purpose.

The conversation itself was inconsequential. Anyone listening in would only hear talk of people they didn’t know and events they weren’t present for. One of those irritatingly annoying discussions, spoken in a language only the two young women would understand. Not that anyone within earshot would care or want to understand, the two continued on as if their conversation were the most important one they’d ever had.

“You look good, Melanie,” a voice spoke up from somewhere behind the two young women.

They turned to see a young man, possibly early twenties, sitting at a table not far from them. Bringing a cigarette to his lips, he lit it with an almost purposeful nonchalance. His eyes, initially directed toward nothing in particular on the ground, now slowly arched upward to meet their gaze. The bombardier blue within those eyes held a secret not yet revealed to anyone but himself.

The young woman with the curly dark hair blinked once.

“Jack? Jack Norin?” she asked.

“Ah, I’m glad you remember me,” the young man answered, standing and moving toward their table.

“Wh-what are you doing here?” Melanie asked him, almost dumbstruck by surprise.

“You’ll have to forgive me,” the young man continued, a slight smile dancing across his lips, “I don’t mean to be rude. Hi, my name is Jack.”

He extended his hand to Melanie’s friend, who took it sheepishly, not knowing exactly the circumstances of the situation she was faced with.

“Claudia,” she responded.

“It’s nice to meet you, Claudia. Again, I don’t mean to be rude. Melanie and I were acquaintances a couple of years ago, before she came to live here.”

“Jack…what are you doing…”

“I hope you don’t mind, Claudia. I would like to take Melanie here aside for a word in private, if that’s all right with you. We’ll be right over there,” he indicated a table at the far end of the café’s outdoor area.

Before Claudia could respond, let alone consent, Jack had gently, almost hypnotically led Melanie out of her seat and away from her table to the far side. They sat at the chosen table, across from each other. Jack sat with an air of mystery about him, never taking his eyes off of Melanie, who couldn’t seem to keep her eyes on Jack for more than a moment.

“You look good, Melanie,” he repeated.

A deeply uncomfortable pause hung in the air.

“Jack…why are you here? Did you follow me?”

He chuckled lightly, “Following would indicate that I had an existing reason to come up here when we last saw each other. No, I did not follow you, Melanie. Though I am here for a reason.”

Becoming even more uncomfortable, she seemed to squirm in her seat as if it were electrocuted.

“Let me ask you something. What was your issue with me when we knew each other? You once gave me an answer, but looking back I’d have to say it was less-than-truthful,” he smiled and pulled the ashtray on the table closer to him.

“Is that why you’re here? To ask me that?”

He chuckled again, “Oh no, not at all. My business with you is completely separate from this line of questioning. I’m just…curious.”

She stayed silent at first. Pulling out his pack of cigarettes he held it out to her, offering politely. She shook her head and he retracted it, removing one for himself before replacing it within his jacket pocket.

Continuing, “Over the past couple of years, I’ve come to some revelations about myself, who I once was, etcetera, and I have my own theories as to why you treated me the way you did. However, I want to hear what it really was before I go drawing conclusions.”

“I thought you were rather immature,” she at last spoke, “You acted like an idiot every chance you had. You couldn’t conduct yourself like an adult.”
Nodding in understanding, the young man took a drag of his cigarette. The tension hung in the air almost as heavily as the smoke from his roll of tobacco.

“That was part of my theory. The other, I believe, had to do with you thinking you were better than most people. You looked down on people like me. Never gave them a chance. Never allowed yourself to see who they truly were because such effort wasn’t a valuable use of your time.”

He continued to gaze at her, a gaze that could pierce tempered steel.

“I don’t think…I don’t think that’s true, Jack.”

“Maybe so, but nonetheless that’s how you and your friends came across. Too good for everyone else. But regardless, that issue is behind us.”

Another drag on his cigarette, slowly letting the smoke billow from his mouth as he exhaled. Each breath, look, move he made seemed almost calculated to make her more uncomfortable.

“I ask you now; do I seem any different than I did then?”

She seemed a bit taken aback at the question, as if expecting something completely different from him.

“What?”

“I know it’s rather egotistical to ask such a thing, Melanie, but indulge me. Do I seem at all different than when we last saw each other?”

“I can’t answer that, Jack. We’ve only been talking for a few minutes.”

He laughed aloud and nodded, “Ah, yes. That’s very true. As an actress, you more than anyone else, would understand that to fully understand a character one must read between the lines. Below the lines. Beyond the lines. Am I correct?”

She nodded slowly.

“And not only their lines, but their interactions with others. How can I expect you to answer such a question when this is the first time you’ve seen me in however many years.”

Putting the cigarette out, he leaned back. A silence fell upon the conversation as the two only looked at each other.

“I have to be honest and tell you that the way you acted, the way you and your friends treated me was very hurtful, Melanie.”

His tone had taken a turn for the serious. No longer did he smile an amused smile. No longer did his bombardier blue eyes mask the feelings he had been hiding.

“Look…Jack, you say that you’re different than you were,”

“I never said that.”

She stopped, collecting her thoughts, “But you have to understand that I’m not the same person I once was either. Looking back, the person I was fills me with disgust. You were right: I did look down on you. And I guess…I guess I’m sorry for that. Maybe you did irritate me with how you acted but that was no excuse.”

She cut herself off, as if there was more to be said, but kept herself from saying it. Her eyes no longer were able to look upon him, now only staring into the table between them. The moment lingered as an eternity as neither said anything.

“Well,” he rose from his seat, “The business I had with you unfortunately cannot be concluded. It was nice seeing you again, Melanie.”

Taking out another cigarette, he lit it.

“I must be going. If you need anything, here’s my card,” pulling out his wallet and producing a business card. Carefully placing it in front her, he smiled a knowing smile and walked away, quickly disappearing into the crowds.

Watching him until he was out of sight, Melanie turned her attention to the business card. Picking it up, she realized it only had a single word on it.

Forgiveness.

I Remember...

I remember being a kid. Not all of it, of course, but some of it. It's a curious thing, memory is.

I remember...being in the playground area of my grade school. It had a large field adjoining it. I remember, after raining, myself and the other kids would make tiny rivers int he ground for the standing water to flow through. I remember we would stick in leaves and twigs and watch them float along the paths as if they were boats.

I remember...finding a bamboo stick in the neighborhood we live in. I made it my walking stick and pretend "weapon" when I had adventures. I remember accidentally leaving it the neighborhood's tennis/pool/playground area one day. I remember not finding it and then this other boy I knew from the down the street showed up with my stick. It was not convincingly nor cleverly disguised. I remember becoming angry and taking it from him forcibly. I don't remember what ultimately happened to that stick.

I remember...a red-haired girl named Chelsea. We were both young...10 or younger. Her and I hung out all the time at a local sports complex where our parents played tennis together. I remember us running around the grounds and facility, having adventures together. I remember once, we had these pipcleaner dolls and used them to act out Saved By the bell episodes, seeing as we both liked the show. I remember visiting her house a year or so later and that being the last I ever saw her. I loved her.

I remember...having an impressive collection of Power Rangers toys. I remember many times when I would steal my Father's tools and take those toys apart and put them back together again, good as new. I remember storing them in a bureau in an unfinished downstairs room in one of our old homes in Georgia. I must have taken them apart hundreds of times.

I remember...exploring the wilderness surrounding this one neighborhood in which my parents had come for their tennis match. The feature that stood out the most had been this creek. I remember it being very wide and very deep, both the water itself being deep and the ravine it was in. I remember finding a "bridge" that connected both sides of the creek. By bridge, I mean a couple of long boards laid from one end to the other. I remember crossing it, on my hands and knees, almost paralyzed with fear at the potential fall. I remember making it.

I remember...having a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles shaving kit. It wasn't real, obviously, but that never stopped me from using it and being like my Father. I remember the kit coming with a lather brush, plastic "razor", rinse cup, and a can of green shaving cream.

I remember all these things and more, sometimes pining for the old days when things were so much more simple. Yes, it is the old cliche of "adults wish they were kids again", but it's true. I didn't have a care in the world a lot of those days beyond where I was heading to next in my outdoor adventures or what cartoon was on.

I miss it.

2012 Arro Studios 48 Hour Film Project

For the past two years, I've been participating in the 48 Hour Film Project with the same group of friends that I worked with in filming Fistful of Zombies last year. This year, we unfortunately didn't get our film submitted in time for the main competition.

However, we did have a lot of fun and came out of it with a lot of cool stills. The head honcho of our team is putting the finishing touches on the Director's Cut version of the film, as well, so hopefully I'll be able to share that with all of you.

For now, pictures!

Jim preparing the camera

Preliminary group idea meeting

O'Malley reading from the prepared audition script

Sound!

Abby hard at work

Fearless leader Mike leading us

Setting up the green screen shots

Scene set up

Me rocking the prop glasses for my costume

Painting the prop guns

More prop gun construction!

The finished product

Me in full costume

Abby, arriving onset by catapault

Rob, in costume

Still of Jenn in her role as "Dead Woman"

Close up

Close up of our sweet equipment

Abby...er...working hard?

The crew discussing camera angles

In-between takes

Editing!

Honest Assessment and Analysis: Redux

Here we are again...another lovely day in our continuing lives. I recently read an article and it got me thinking about myself again. One particular aspect of it rang a bit too true, in my case. It's a section discussing people that act like assholes and are proud of it.

Here:

"I've known soooo many people like this. The Internet is saturated with them. And let's get this straight right off the bat: It is NOT the same as "I speak my mind" or "I'm opinionated." Huge difference. Being opinionated or outspoken is a perfectly legitimate personality type, even if it's annoying to some people. What I'm talking about is the needlessly aggressive bullshit where a person tries to justify being an asshole by wearing it as a badge of honor. Guys who say, "Yeah, I know I'm a dick -- who cares?" Using it as a sign of toughness and strength. Or girls who hold up "I'm a bitch" as a false torch, confusing it for "strong" and "independent."
People treat it as if it were a heightened level of dominance that others should strive to achieve. It is not. It's being combative, purely out of a love for confrontation. There's a rush a person feels when they verbally beat down someone else and make them concede their point of view. What that person doesn't realize is that most of the time, the only reason the other person is backing down is because it's the closest exit from the conversation and the annoying mouth that it's escaping.

I don't know who decided that this is a desirable personality type, but it seems to me that the only people who honestly think that are the ones who are that way. In reality, it's a coward's means of not owning up to the fact that they never learned how to speak to or respect another human. A way of covering up the fact that they never learned lessons that the rest of us learned at age 8.

The sad part is that this is an extremely easy frame of mind to fall into because every conversation turns into a competition, and the reward for "winning" is feeling like the world's smartest badass. It's walking in, thinking you're Dwayne Johnson, and walking out feeling like the Rock.

Why That's Dangerous:

Once you fall into that pattern of communication, it's virtually impossible to concede anything to anyone in almost any situation. Not just the people you're comfortable with, like family and friends, but people of actual authority, like bosses, police officers and the government agency tasked with greenlighting your methods of curing homosexuality.

Once "I'm a badass whose will can never be bent" sets in, you've actively placed yourself in a position where, in your mind, you are always right, and nobody can convince you otherwise. The real trap is that we've created a culture that promotes this as a lovable, quirky character, rather than a festering, infected pus sack of a human. Dr. House is a classic example. Dwight from The Office. Bender from The Breakfast Club. Han Solo. The list is miles long.

In real life, it's hard for anyone to stand beside you when you need them because you're such an inexcusable prick that you've created a world where people prefer that a catastrophe keeps you away from them. Instead of extending a hand to help you up, they picture extending a foot to crush your windpipe.

But you don't care -- you're an asshole, and you're proud of it. Fuck anyone who doesn't agree with your attitude. They just can't handle how edgy you are."

I've often been referred to, by my friends in particular, as an asshole. I also realize, through introspection, that I'm very lonely, in a number of ways. Could this be an accurate assessment of one of my problems? Hmm....

The Amazing Spider-Man

As I'm sure you faithful readers are aware, I'm kind of a Spider-Man fan.

Yes.

YES.

YES!

YES!!!

FUCKING YES!

Anyway, unless you've been trapped in a psychopath's basement for the past month or so, you're probably aware of the new Spidey movie.

Now with 100% less Maguire!

Of course, being the fan that I am, I had to check it out. Despite my utter contempt for 95% of the shit Hollywood churns out, my fanboyishness won out.

So, saw it I did! And now I'm here to share my thoughts about it in comparison to the original movie trilogy, to the comics, and to my own opinions.

Let's webswing in!

Let's go right for the metaphorical jugular and talk about Spidey himself. First and foremost, I did NOT like Tobey Maguire as Peter Parker. In my experience, Peter was always moderately attractive, in a nerdy, awkward way. Maguire was a fugly, FUGLY guy. He never screamed "Peter Parker" whenever I was watching him in those films.

There's a reason this is a meme

Now, the new guy, Andrew Garfield...HE'S more toward what I imagined. Despite looking like Edward from Twilight (which, by the way, distracted me for a good five minutes when that connection was made in my head), he has an awkward attractiveness about him that seems right for ol' PP.

Performance-wise, both are about on part. I think Garfield was a bit better, and that's compared to Maguire's three movies to his one. I just really felt that Garfield gave a good "teenage Parker" vibe and I hope he can keep it up as the character grows.

Now, one of the more notable changes from the original trilogy of movies was the departure from using Mary Jane as the love interest and replacing her with the chronologically correct Gwen Stacy, portrayed in The Amazing Spider-Man by Emma Stone.

There is literally not a number in existence that quantifies how many people I'd kill to have this

This change in character and casting not only brings in a new face to the Spidey franchise, but also gives the audiences the strong female support character they've been wanting in their Spidey films! I'll be honest again and admit that I did NOT like Kirsten Dunst from the original films either. Not only did I not find her visually appropriate to play Mary Jane, but she also played the cliched, overused, and tired "damsel in distress" character.

Now, I know those of you that have seen the new movie will rebut with "But Gwen Stacy got in trouble all the time!". First of all, yes, duh. Second of all, not in the way that you think. In the school, she went back for Peter and friggin HIT THE LIZARD WITH A CHAIR. That's badass. At Oscorp, she was actually doing something useful for our hero and happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. And what does she do when the bad guy finds her? FUCKING TRIES SETTING HIM ON FIRE!

I'm serious. Gwen Stacy is the strongest love interest character I've seen EVER in a Spider-Man film.

Hmm...a few other differences between the films that I noted...

Well, Peter Parker in the new film is actually written as an intelligent individual. And in a balanced fashion too! He doesn't come across as unbelievably intelligent. On the contrary, many minor scenes are dedicated to showing him working and figuring things out. For example, the creation of his web shooters is shown through a series of scenes where he's analyzing and experimenting until he gets it right. THAT is how you properly portray an intelligent character...by showing them figuring things out as opposed to them just KNOWING something without much context.

You're supposed to believe I'm intelligent because the script says so. So there.

The secondary characters, however, were hit or miss for me. I didn't like Sally Field as Aunt May. It isn't that she doesn't do a good job, but rather she only did an "okay" job. That and she doesn't look the part. Martin Sheen as Uncle Ben, however, was pretty good. I felt that he portrayed Uncle Ben as an individual struggling to be the father figure to a son that a) has nothing in common with him as he's getting older and b) is going through some difficult changes in his adolescence. Very well done, in my opinion. Denis Leary does a good job, too...I was honestly expecting a much more outlandish performance (considering the actor and his previous works). However, if Rescue Me taught me one thing, it's that Leary can do subtle and serious when he needs to.

The writing seemed, for the most part, crisp and clean. The dialogue seemed believable. I only recall one unresolved plotline from the movie, and it was such a minor one that I'm willing to let it go.

I could go on and on about this movie, rambling for paragraphs upon pages, but I won't bore you any longer. My recommendation is that you go see the film and make your own decision. Personally, I feel that this was a very promising start to the rebooted franchise and I hope they keep it up with the sequels.

Then again...

Tabletop Tales: BESM

I've played many different tabletop RPGs in my time.

I've spoken of several of said games here in this very blog.

However, I've yet to talk about BESM.

BESM (Big Eyes, Small Mouth), in the simplest of terms, is THE anime RPG. While other existing games may portray certain types of anime better (mech-based games, for example), BESM is the catch all anime RPG. It's system encompasses, more or less, all anime genres into one game.

You can play anything from a magical girl like Sailor Moon...
 

Moon Fanservice Power!!

...to a mech pilot like in Gundam...

The plot is irrelevant when robots are exploding

...to even a regular student like in some animes!

There's a rape joke here somewhere...

This was an interesting setup in that it allowed GMs and players to run any sort of anime setting in a game, without switching systems to do it. Furthermore, the system allowed fully customizable characters with their extensive "Attributes" section (essentially, all the cool anime powers and abilities).

All in all, it was a very fun system to play. I've enjoyed 99% of all BESM games I've either run as the moderator or played in. We...won't talk about the 1%.

I'm thinking back on the various BESM games I've played in. I distinctly recall my creation of the Atari 1,000,000, a fully functional, autonomously thinking, giant mech. And, when I say "giant" mech, I'm not talking as big as your house. Oh no no, I built that character to be as big as skyscrapers!

Think...a Godzilla-sized robot. That the other players lived inside of.

THAT'S the kind of crazy shit you can do in BESM.

Suddenly, Japan.

You want that cool, ridiculously over-sized, ridiculously powerful sword to eviscerate all foes with? BESM can do that.

You want a legion of admirers following you around and doing your bidding? BESM can do that.

You want, both, the power to burrow and the power to stretch, for no good goddamn reason?!? BESM can do that.

There isn't a lot that BESM left out of character creation/the Attributes section, and even if they did, the book discusses how to add in additional Attributes that may have been left out.

Sadly, I don't have many interesting stories to tell involving BESM games. The games and sessions were fun but nothing story-worthy occurred (except one instance, but that will never be spoken of...). I just wanted to share this game with all of you readers in hopes that you learned about a new game and will give it a try.

Excelsior!

An Evening's Observations: A Followup

Apparently, people actually DO read my blog posts. This includes some of those mentioned in "An Evening's Observations". One felt inclined to confront me about my opinions. I'm sure he won't appreciate this as much as what I had to say to him concerning my post, but I want everyone to see that I can back up and defend my feelings as much, if not more, than the next guy.

His name and any accompanying names of anyone mentioned have been removed, as will be certain personal facts that shouldn't be shared openly. This won't stop certain people from knowing who they are, but I'll do my best.

Here follows the exchange, unedited (I rearranged the order slightly for clarity's sake):

Him: well, this "bipolar, depressed jackass who can't garner any attention from the ladies" (psst, by the way, I get plenty of attention, just not from the ones I want) doesn't want the advice of someone who has just as much, if not less, luck than I do. You can't even begin to fathom what I'm going through, as you don't feel shit compared to me (or ((NAME REMOVED)) for that matter). Because, oh yes, me fucking breaking down, by myself, where no one can see me, is definitely me trying to get attention.
Me:  *sigh* did you not read the disclaimer about it being my opinion and not meant to point fingers? I'm sorry it upset you but thats how I felt
Him:  how does that make it better? seriously? you think a "disclaimer" about opinions means shit to anyone?
Me:  clearly not. look man, I have these opinions for a reason. I respect and love all of my friends, yourself included, but I hate to see my friends act a certain way because I have an outside perspective of how it looks, and, at times, it looks stupid. I should know, Ive done stuff/still do stuff that looks stupid to people viewing from the outside. ((NAME REMOVED)) was acting like a complete tool last night and I was pissed at him for it
Him:  heh, I'm not even sure "upset" would be a good term for what I am right now, all I know is I'm smiling, or rather, grinning. Yeah, and you flirt with anything that has a vagina, hence why I don't consider you a good person to take advice from
Me:  right. because Ive slept with so many girls the past several months. let me tell you a little something about how I deal with women since you seem completely oblivious to how I work. I want a girlfriend. one girl. not many. just one. but I havent had much luck finding the right one. however, I see no issues with casually enjoying myself with women that wish to do the same with me as long as everything is open and honest concerning what we're doing, why we're doing it, etc. which is what I do. and I do so. and will continue to do so until I meet a girl that I feel for romantically and feels the same for me
Him:  so how exactly was I oblivious to that, when it simply proved my point? and I already knew all of that
Me:  furthermore, there are plenty of women that I have no intention of ever sleeping with for a variety of reasons. just because Im out-going and talkative doesnt mean Im flirting ((NAME REMOVED)). though I can understand you mistaking the two
Him:  oh, no, I know the difference
Me: clearly not. but thats neither here nor there
Him:  you clearly underestimate me. and that's really fucking stupid. I've been underestimating myself
Me:  I havent resorted to name calling in this conversation ((NAME REMOVED)), please dont do it. and, no, I dont underestimate you. I believe from the very beginning Ive been trying to tell you how good of a guy you are and how much better of a guy you will be once you got over your ((REMOVED)). look, you dont like me. I get it. its fine. Im used to not being liked. the point Im making is that Ill be here for you regardless if you like me or not to talk if you ever need it. Im just not going to pull teeth for you to tell me whats wrong. if you want to tell me, you will. if not, you wont. I think some of your facebook posts a bit over-dramatic. and tend to tip back and forth rather quickly. as does your mood
Him:  Well no shit sherlock
Me:  thus the opinions I made in my blog. but, again, those are just my opinions concerning a friends behavior that I witnessed. if you dont want to be my friend anymore, thats fine too. Ill still keep your number so you can talk to me if you need to
Him: and once again, you have no idea what I'm really going through
Me:  because you dont talk to me, man. I asked if you wanted to, I put myself out there so you could share, and you said no. so dont get mad at me for not knowing. because you only have yourself to blame for that
Him:  oh no no no. you don't understand what I meant. I've already said shit about the rapid and chaotic changes that I'm going through on every level
Me: uh huh
Him:  what I'm saying, is you could never truly fathom them. you're not at all a metaphysical person.
Me:  ah I see. well that still doesnt mean you cant tell me. youre right in that I dont believe, but that doesnt mean I cant understand to a certain extent. sure, some things Ill probably not grasp
Him:  I've mentioned shit before. ((REMOVED)), remember?
Me: yes, this Im aware of
Him:  that pretty sums it up, it's pretty fucking extreme. I'm constantly feeling like a nuclear reactor about to go into a meltdown status
Me:  well I cant pretend to act like I know what it feels like, but you already know about my outside perspective opinion of its effects on you. so I accept the fact that you are going through a metaphysical thing that I dont understand, but my opinion remains the same in how it appears externally.  in short, I respect the changes youre going through, but in the end, anyone that doesnt understand whats going on with you, myself included, will just see you acting like a bipolar crazy-person and I dont want people to get the wrong idea about you. My opinions were, again, an outside perspective of your emotions and behavior and now that youre aware of that, I hope youll understand why my opinion was what it was. Again, Ill be here for you, whether you like me or not, want me as a friend or not

He didn't respond after that. I'm uncertain whether this is because he had no returning argument, had to leave for some reason, didn't care to continue, or whatever else.

I'm not posting this to be an asshole and share someone else's personal issues. Quite the contrary, I'm doing this to show that I'm NOT trying to be an asshole, but rather make my opinions based on observation and do so, partially, out of irritation derived from concern.

Again, he'll hate me for this, but I'm sure he does already.

Such is the nature of being me, I suppose.

Tabletop Tales: Jason Willard - Ruiner of Games

I haven't done one of these in a while, but recent developments have given me a relatively good story to share.

Let's delve into the world of Dungeons and Dragons!

Yes, yes...the original nerd game. The granddaddy of roleplaying games (not really, but whatever). It is the one game that put roleplaying on the map and was, on average, the first roleplaying game of most gamers. It encompasses the standard fantasy epic adventure, allowing players to step into the shows of mighty warriors and powerful wizards, fighting monsters and collecting treasure.

Really standard stuff, as far as roleplaying shit was concerning.

For me, personally, D&D was the first roleplaying that I had ever played. It was, quite literally, the gateway game that opened up my interest in other RPG's. Because of D&D, I'm the gamer that I am now.

This all being said, I haven't played a 3.5 edition (my preferred edition) D&D game in quite some time. When my roommates friend, Dan, offered to run a game, I obviously jumped at the opportunity. I made a barbarian/sorcerer for the express purpose of playing a prestige class (that's a specialized, bonus class, for you uninitiated) called a rage mage. The whole point of my build was to be the strongest member of the party and hit things really hard.

I couldn't find an appropriate picture, so here's a kitten!

The party was tasked with capturing, preferably alive, this wizard that would know something about what was happening with the weather and seasons. Pretty standard "go here, do this" kind of adventure. We set out, made it to the wizard's tower, scaled it without much effort, and proceeded to confront the spellcaster we were after.

Before I continue, I must paint the picture of the scene for you.

We kick in the door to the topmost level of the tower and enter into the wizard's study. He's sitting there behind a desk. Floating above the desk is this "powerful-looking orb". Behind the desk and wizard is a window. We exchange some words, something like this:

Us - "We were sent to bring you back."
Wizard - "I'm not going."
Us - "We're taking you with us whether you want to or not."
Wizard - "Fuck you, here are some golems to fight."

So the stubborn fucker summons four golems to fight us, two on either side of him. I noticed that the desk in front of the wizard and the wizard himself were completely unprotected from the front.

An idea started to brew.

A CRAZY idea.

I win initiative for combat. My character, who is already juiced up on magical strength spells and whatnot, decides he's going to do try and end the fight immediately. Now listen closely because this is exactly what his/my plan was: He was going to charge/bull rush the wizard's desk, knocking it, and the wizard, back several feet into the window with enough force to knock him out but not enough force to break the window. Additionally, if the window DID break and he fell out, we had people who could fly and catch him. No biggie.

However, this is what ACTUALLY happened as per the DM's description: My character charges/bull rushes the desk, the desk shatters upon impact, the powerful-looking orb shatters on impact, and the wizard gets pushed through the window.

Great.

The DM, unaware of what my intentions were, decided that the orb that was integral to the plot of his whole game, was shattered by my character's actions. After it occurred, he ranted and raved for about half an hour about how I ruined his story and he needed an extended break to think of where to go with it.

When the group reconvened after a few cigarettes and more ranting on the DM's part, he thus gifted me with the title of "Ruiner of Games". Everyone else had mixed reactions.

 I thought it was the funniest damned thing.

An Evening's Observations

I once read, rather recently actually, that "those who give the best advice are usually the ones with the most problems".

Now, I have to admit, in my case there seems to be a lot of truth to this. Don't worry, readers, this isn't another depressing rant, I swear! Just observational analysis of an evening's activities.

From here on in, I'll carefully not include the dates and names of people and locations to cover my tracks to avoid hurt feelings. This isn't meant to call anyone in particular out, or anything...just share my thoughts openly. Nothing more.

So I went to this gathering recently and I walk in a bit early and I find a sparse few friends there but the bulk of the people had yet to arrive. I make my way to a female friend that I had known for a few years, off and on. I engage her in conversation concerning a mutual friend and his behavior recently.

The behavior in question has become, in my opinion, very tiresome. I understand the guy is going through a lot of stuff, but the emotional roller coaster he seems to be on seems less like him trying to deal with his problems and more like trying to get attention. Again, this isn't what is actually happening...just my views on it. This individual constantly acts like a bipolar, depressed jackass and he wonders why he can't garner any female interest. I've tried, on a few occasions, to give him advice, since he's CLEARLY lacking in any common sense on how to conduct himself. However, each time I get blown off.

Such is life, I suppose.

I continue the evening as people begin to trickle in over the course of the next hour, hour-and-a-half. I say my usual hellos to everyone I know and have a few forced laughs. I say forced because I typically force myself to chuckle at such interactions for the sake of appearances.

No one likes to associate with a stone-faced jerk, y'know?

I listen to everyone discuss their current problems and wonder "What's the point?". I'm not saying this to be rude, but I honestly don't understand why people harp on and on about their issues like it's the most fascinating piece of news to arise in the past months. I have problems, too, but here is an example of how much I typically talk about them:

Some person - "Hey, Jason! How's life?"
Me - "Could be better, could be worse. Still looking for a job."
Some person - "Aw, that sucks!"
Me - *shrugs* "Yeah, I've applied all over, but that's life."

And that's it. No long rant. Maybe a bit more detailed info pertaining to where I applied recently, but that's it. Nothing else.

Do you intrepid readers know why I don't discuss my problems? Because it's fucking boring.

There was recently a Cracked article about shit everyone talks about and thinks people care about listening to, but actually don't. I only remember the entry into the article about babies, but I'm certain "long-winded rants about your problems" is on my personal list of the same topic.

I know this makes me sound heartless, but nobody likes hearing you go on for an hour about how the military screwed you, or how that motherfucking roommate trashed your stuff.

Anyway, the evening continues. I, as always, take an interest in new and attractive females that are around. Not creepy stalkerishness, of course, but if I'm presented with striking up a conversation with them, I do so. Fortunately, the opportunity presents itself for a couple of the ones I spot the group discusses faith and individual stances on it. Not much is derived from this beyond initial contact, but it's a start in possibly garnering new relationships and friendships.

I detach myself from that conversation and proceed to wander a bit, hopefully finding an opportunity to insert myself into another discussion. Such an opportunity doesn't present itself, but that happens.

After a time, I spot another friend who is with, I would guess, is her "boyfriend" or whatever you'd like to call it. Now, this brings up another fascinating point I'd like to discuss: the insistence of girls to date complete idiots.

This guy, by all appearances, seemed like an idiot. He was one of those typical white-ghetto thug types. He wore a sports cap turned to the side, a sports jersey, tattoos everywhere, listened to rap music, and talked like he had stopped furthering his education at the fifth grade level. I don't like to judge people based on what they wear or how they look...that's one of the lowest levels of despicable that I can think of. That's why I always keep my ears open to see how people conduct themselves, or actively engage them in conversation, to judge the type of person they are.

Suffice it to say, my initial judgements were right. The guy was a tool. And a moron.

I say this because the girl in question seems nice enough. I'm not certain of her level of intelligence, but I'd imagine it's higher than this guy's. The point I'm ultimately making is my lack of understanding on why a girl like her would date/be in a relationship/whatever with a guy like him.

And before the comments about me being jealous start getting slung around, I'll say this: I have no interest in this particular girl. Yes, she's attractive, but attractiveness alone does not make for sincere interest at least on my part. My observations are merely an academic curiosity about why women date certain guys when they clearly seem to be lacking in any kind of intelligence, sense of identity, sincerity, etc.

Ah, well. Then there was the "enjoyment" I derived from watching a really good friend of mine babysit someone he barely knew for a reason I'm not certain he fully understood because he was asked to by another friend and he did it to fit in. I'm actually happy that this particular friend of mine is making strides in being more outgoing and making new friends, but it's irritating to see him act like that because he wants to fit in. Which is ultimately all it is. That, and/or his dumb sense of chivalry.

Now, I believe in chivalry too. However, when you're stuck babysitting some crazy girl who has issues that run as deep as the Marianas Trench because you feel you have some dumb sense of obligation to do so, you're taking it too far. Opening doors? Fine. Pulling out chairs? Great. Coming to the aid of a lady if she's legitimately in trouble (i.e. physically hurt, being attacked, etc.)? Acceptable. Watching over someone you don't really know because some OTHER friend says that they need "protection" from some poorly defined thing? Dumb.

But I can see why he does it. I don't agree with him doing it, but can see why.

I tried lightly flirting with a few girls because, well, that's how I am. Strangely enough, it fell rather forced this time, so I quickly stopped doing it after a few minutes.

Eventually, the night wore on, I grew bored, people left one-by-one, and eventually I left too.

I returned to my home, sat down, and wrote this entry. I don't know if anyone is going to read this or not, but who the fuck cares? It's not like I post on here for anyone elses benefit.

EDIT: Apparently, certain individuals spoken of in this article have read it. Again, I must emphasize that these are my opinions and I apologize if it upsets you, but I will not take back what I have said. I have great respect and love for my friends and hate seeing them act certain ways because I can see how it looks externally. It looks stupid. And I would hate to look stupid to people watching me from the outside of whatever it is I'm doing (it's happened and still does happen to me). 

FREE PUPPY

I...I got a little desperate for dates...

FREE puppy!

EDIT: Man, that got flagged quick!

Screenshot of my work!

First Thanksgiving Alone: A Play-by-Play of the Average Slacker

This is my first Thanksgiving alone, so I figured I would chronicle the amazingly epic experience of spending it alone for all my readers to enjoy. Let's dive in!

8:15 am: Roommate wakes me up to ask if I can give him a ride to work in an hour. I, being the level-headed individual that I am, hurl a sword in his general direction. Apparently, I muttered something about agreeing to it.

9:15 am: I stumble out of the sheet on the floor that I count as my bed and find my roommate. He casually informs me that it's 40 degrees out. I hate him a little more with each passing moment.

9:20 am: I proceed to put on layers consisting of pajama pants, jeans, a Middle Eastern kurtas, a leather jacket, my slippers, and my newly-acquired Spider-Man crochet hat. I am the cold weather warrior.

9:30 am: I take my roommate to his soul-crushing corporate-owned retail job that doesn't even close on one of the two big holidays of the year. I would fear more for his existence if I actually cared more.

9:45 am: I return home and settle into the couch. My OTHER roommate heads out to go to her family's place. I feel a slight pang of regret that I can't do the same thing, but realize that I can fill that void with leftover pizza.

9:50 am: Filling the void never tasted so good.

10:00 am: I settle into the couch with Netflix playing on the main computer and my laptop in front of me. My phone next to me and wireless mouse connected to the Netflix computer. Beside THAT a mountain of sodas. All in all, my setup is a monument to utter laziness and desire to never get up from this spot.

11:30 am: Decide to write this article in hopes that someone may find it amusing.

11:35 am: Realize that writing an article about my Thanksgiving alone is coolant-drinkingly depressing.

11:37 am: I start adding liquor to my sodas.

1:00 pm: After several hours straight of watching Scrubs and the dawning realization that none of my roomies will actually be returning anytime soon, I decide to do what any sensible person would: throw myself into a fantasy world.

1:01 pm: I turn on Skyrim for the first time. God save me.

4:07 pm: I realize what a horrible person I am as I steal from every character I come across and then sell them back their own belongings. I decide to save what little self respect I have and quit Skyrim for now.

4:08 pm: I also now realize that 4.5 hours of consistent drinking have had the adverse effect of making the characters in Skyrim address me directly. I'm thinking I used too much vodka. Or that I used just the right amount of vodka over a period of several hours.

4:30 pm: Going back to watch Scrubs. However, there seems to be a pink-clad ninja in the corner watching me watch Scrubs. This could be bad.

5:00 pm: The ninja isn't actually a bad guy. He's politely informed me that he's merely the Thanksgiving ninja, roaming the land for people alone on the holiday to keep them company. He's also arranging all the shoes in the apartment in some strange order involving color, size, material, style, and how often they're worn. I casually let him know that his efforts are in vain, that his work will be destroyed upon my roommates' return. He casually responds by telling me to shut up and drink more.

5:01 pm: I do what the ninja tells me to.

5:15 pm: I don't remember the characters in Scrubs being able to climb walls like Spider-Man. I then realize that I've lied down on my side.

5:49 pm: I don't remember how, but I've somehow found my way to bathroom. The toilet, I realize, looks incredibly inviting. I proceed to hug it for a while. Go team.

6:49 pm: Mr. Toilet wakes me up from my nap and I stumble my way back to the main room. I trip over a basket I didn't remember being there. I damn my roommates to blackest pits of hell for their negligence. I could use a smoke.

6:53 pm: I now realize that Mother Nature is against me and refuses to let me go out and smoke in comfort. I knew this day would come and I am prepared.

6:55 pm: Letting Mother nature know that you are not her bitch by stepping onto your parking lot-side balcony nude is CLEARLY the best use of my time. The pride I feel in my manliness is almost worth the shrinkage that occurs. Almost.

6:58 pm: My penis gets stuck to a cold railing. Uh-oh.

7:25 pm: After a carefully executed MacGuyver-esque maneuver involving a lighter, one of the balcony chairs, and a nearby squirrel, I finally free my junk from it's icy prison and quickly make my way back inside. I believe my point was made.

9:46 pm: I wake up, vaguely remembering a decision to warm myself up with more liquor. The Netflix has timed out, my sodas are empty, I've eaten all the leftover pizza, and no one has texted/called me. I briefly consider condemning my soul to another few hours of Skyrim, but I reconsider.

9:50 pm: I fall asleep.

The next day, I woke up to find my roommates returning from their various homes. At some point in the night, I had proceeded to mix all of the shampoos into one big tub, leaving a note simply stating "This is for the weekend."

Dammit.

I really wish I could remember what that was for. HAD to have been important.

Tabletop Character Theme Songs!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I'm back! I know it's been MONTHS (fucking MONTHS, for fuck's sake!) since I posted but I'm back now and hopefully will be putting up new content on a slightly more consistent basis!

My punishment will be swift

All of that being said, this particular article was inspired by a late night evening with my roomie and best buddy Wes. I was keeping Wes up with talks of the various roleplaying games that we were in at the time or previously. This conversation, as per usual, led to a discussion of our favorite characters. This, in turn, led to a discussion about what the theme songs for our characters would be.

Me, being the type of gamer that I am, had already picked out theme songs for some of my favorite characters. This is a brief list of theme songs that I had chosen for my own characters or my friends characters.

Should be fun, right?

• The Shaper - (Amber)

If any of you are long-time readers of mine (I use the term "long-time" loosely, in this case) than you may recall my mentioning of Amber and my characters from them. Specifically, my Shaper character. A quick recap of the character - the Shaper was me with the power to turn into any living thing. Specifically, my specialty was the form of the feathered serpent. The downside to this was, of course, losing myself in the animal mind and giving in to darker, more primal urges.

Therefore, the song I choose for this character is:

• The Monster (pre-angel) - (Amber)

Going along the same Amber train of thought, I figured I'd do pre-angel Monster me. This character was Shaper me at a later time with a different power. I had acquired the terrible destructive power of the Monster, but hadn't chosen a form yet. The downside to this power was this terrible hunger inside of myself that kept gnawing at me if I didn't feed it. Humans tended to satiate it the best.

Therefore, I believe this song choice is best. Sidenote - Wes actually picked this one. I approve of his selecting abilities:

• The Monster (post-angel) - (Amber)

Okay, okay...this is my last Amber entry until later. This is the same character as above, but I had chosen the form of a rakasha, an unbound angel. I did so so that I could use the power responsibly without compromising my morals.

This in mind, I chose this song:

• Pak-cha - (Dungeons and Dragons 3.5 ed)

I can't recall if I've ever mentioned Pak-cha before in my blog, which is strange because he's my favorite character that I ever breathed fictional life into. Ah, well. Pak-cha was part of an evil party of evil goddess worshippers. He started out as a mindless bodyguard and, by the end of the campaign, had worked his way up to becoming his goddess's champion. He was lethal, brutal, and almost unbeatable in one-on-one melee combat. He was LITERALLY the heavy-hitter and he heavy-hitted often.

I believe this song does him the justice he deserves:

 Before I continue, I feel the need to share the theme songs for the remaining members of this campaign's party. We each actually picked our own themes and I recorded all of theme. I won't go into detail about each specific character, but I'm sure you can get a general idea of the tone from the collection.

Xeahvyn’s Theme  – Animal I Have Become (totally ripped this off from her, I admit)

Bruce’s Theme – Bat Out of Hell

Tsiona’s Theme – Devil’s Daughter

Tailoc’s Theme – Bard’s Song

Greth’s Theme – Bodies

Korn’s Theme – Headstrong

Razgriz’s Theme – Go Into the Water

Kee’ari-Uh’s Theme – Master of Puppets

Darkmane’s Theme – Castratikron

• Wires - (Shadowrun)

Wires was another of my all-time favorite characters. He was an all-powerful technomancer (re. magic hacker) in a world almost entirely run by data and electronics. He was an essential asset to the shadowrunning (re. mercenary) team that he was a part of and could do almost anything in his niche without fail. Even the other players marveled at how ridiculously effective this character was. This all being said, he was essentially useless in the real world. However, that never stopped him from doing his job and putting his life on the line to get his part done for the team.

It actually took me a while to find this song, but I believe it's the most fitting:

• Bones - (Shadowrun)

Now, we've finally left my own characters (egotistical asshole that I am) and have moved onto my friends' characters. Bones, Wes's character, was an orc-oni adept (re. Japanese demon orc physical-mage) in the same game that Wires from above was in. Both characters were completely different from each other. Where Wires was serious, Bones was carefree. Where Wires was physically weak, Bones was physically powerful. Where Wires was vastly intelligent, Bones was...lacking. However, Bones was the heaviest hitter of our shadowrunning team and proved it on a number of occasions.

Because of his Japanese origin, carefree and upbeat attitude, and general badassery, I chose this song for Bones (Wes approved):

• Lei Sheng - (Shadowrun)

ONE more Shadowrun character for the list...list one, again, is from the same game as Bones and Wires. This character belonged to our friend Jim and was a Chinese combat mage that knew kungfu. I don't believe I need to say more than that.

Here's the song:

I'm sure I could think of songs for more of my own characters or characters belonging to other friends of mine, but I'm mainly sticking to ones that jumped out at me. Or ones that I'd had in my head for a while.

Okay, I'm just lazy.

However, I did come up with a few group theme songs. Here we go!

• Shadowrunning Team Theme

This was chosen by Wes and myself for our team in the Shadowrun game. We felt it appropriate seeing how both we viewed our team/characters and our characters viewed the team as unbeatable. Up to that point in the campaign, we might as well have been. Nothing had stopped us and nothing had slowed us down.

Therefore, the clear choice was:

• Amber Party Theme

This one is actually a funny story. Julia, my now ex, was playing in our Amber game at the time and she was an artist/animator. She had this idea that her and I would surprise the party with an animated "opening" to the Amber game, as if it were an animated show. I loved the idea and worked with her toward it. Unfortunately, her and I parted ways before the project was completed but NOT before I picked out the music we were to use.

I give you...that music:

And that's all I have for now, intrepid readers! If I come up with more, I might do another of these for my own amusement. For now, however, this is a pretty comprehensive list covering my favorite characters and games. 

I hope you enjoyed reading it and promise to work on bringing new material back to the blog!

Fight Back Against Internet Censorship!

Not a pretty sight, is it?

Currently, the government is trying to pass two bills, SOPA and PIPA, in an attempt to fight against online piracy. However, both bills present a threat to the free and open Internet that we have all come to love and enjoy.

I, honestly, can't explain the details behind these bills and how they endanger everything. However, plenty of sites are currently participating in a Net-wide "blackout" in protest. Their sites now link to various explanations and encouragements to contact your local congressman/representative about SOPA.

A few of them are linked here:

Reddit
Google.
Wikipedia
Imgur
Mozilla

And that's only a small fraction. For a full list of sites that are blacking out, and for more information on the bills and how you can fight them, visit SOPAstrike

We can make a difference! Fight back against Internet censorship!