What is a line?: A philosophical discussion about a roleplaying game power

Those out there that actually keep up with this little blog of mine will know that I oftentimes reference the roleplaying game of Amber. Those that are just joining us are most-likely unaware of what Amber is so here's a brief summary:

Amber is a diceless roleplaying game. A roleplaying game is a game in which the player takes on the role of a character they created and plays a part in the story the gamemaster (or GM) tells. Most roleplaying games require dice to determine the success of the players actions, but Amber doesn't use dice, but instead a system of numerical value comparisons to determine the victor in a conflict.

It's better explained in my previous articles so...go read those.

Anyway, Mikey, started up his own Amber game on Fridays (mentioned here) and we, the players, have just been given our new, Great Race-equivalent powers.

We had the following to choose from:

• A summoner-type power
• A pyromantic power
• A hydromantic power
• An airomantic power
• An earthomantic power
• The "power of the Unicorn" which, I can only guess, includes healing and whatnot
• The Cyclops power, which I believe is creation and inspiration
• A regular archmage-type power
• The Logrus, which is a chaos power. This one was only available to Wes
• And the Doomgazer power

 In short, Wes took Logrus, Pete took the archmage, Julia took the Cyclops power, and I took the Doomgazer power.

Upon receiving our powers, we each got clues and hints at how to use our various powers. Some clues were fairly obvious, while others were incredibly vague and difficult to puzzle out and define. Such is the way of Mikey and Pete Amber games.

Case in point, the clue I received about how my power works and what I can influence was essentially this exchange:

Mikey: Okay, you get injected with some strange mercurial liquid, and you go unconscious.
Me: Awesome. And ow.
Mikey: You have a dream/vision of a world. It's earth. You're looking at it as if from space. The strange thing is that the lines of latitude and longitude and the political borders that separate countries, but don't actually exist? You can see them.
Me: ...okay...
Mikey: You then know your power has to do with those lines.
Me: Okay. My power involves lines. Got it. What's next?
Mikey: You wake back up at the castle.
Me: Wait...that's IT?!

So...lines. My power has to do with LINES. It wasn't the most direct explanation, but it was all I had to go off of. So, I decided to begin with figuring out what a line can represent. A border, a boundary, or a barrier, right? Good good...that's a start. But how do I manipulate that?  Does the line have to physically exist to utilize my power? Will I have to make the line myself? Or does it include the metaphorical and symbolic lines, like longitude and latitude, that don't really exist but represent something?

Then I began to ponder what actually constituted a line. Does a line LITERALLY mean an extent of length between two predetermined point? Or can I use any plane that can be viewed as a line from a certain perspective? For example, can a plane of clothing or a sheet of paper be considered a line? Can a wall be considered a line? Or a road? What parameters am I allowed to work with?

Well, after some basic experimentation, I came to find that the definition of "line" is quite liberal in Mikey's realm. Walls, clothes, geographical boundaries, all of these fall within my purview as a Doomgazer. I'm thinking it may even extend as far as the lines on a brain or the lines of ancestry, though I haven't experimented with those avenues yet.

I was able to, in my initial use of my power, define the border of the island as a boundary and a barrier against the outside world and anything FROM the outside world that may be trying to get inside. Instantly, my power manifested and shut off everyone else's powers.The explanation behind this was that everyone else was drawing upon the outside sources that their powers came from, and when I made the determination that outside forces were powerless to enter, their power sources were severed.

My next experiment was on a smaller scale, using Pete's clothes as the focal point. I made the assertion that his clothes were a barrier between him and the outside world. The goal of this test was to see if I could shut off an individual's power using just their clothes. The results were...slight different. I was
  successful in using the clothes as a focal point, but I pushed the power too far, making it so that light, air, etc. were not allowed to penetrate.

Pete nearly died because of that one.

It's actually a very fascinating power to have...fascinating to work with. I can't wait to see what I can REALLY do with it.

Fist Full of Zombies Improv Preview

Check out this improv session with me and one of my fellow actors for the movie we're working on, Fist Full of Zombies

Customers: Satan's Punishment for the Slacker Genius

I hate customers.

The old saying "a person is smart, people are stupid" applies here. On average, I get the dumbest, most idiotic, rudest, and most insufferable people coming up to my department's counter.

Now, before I continue, I know a lot of you that have worked customer-oriented are probably saying to your computer monitor "But Jason, EVERYONE that works in those sort of jobs deal with these sort of problems. Yours aren't anything new!" First of all, fuck you. Second of all, fuck you again. Third of all, this is for those out there that HAVEN'T worked at soul-crushing minimum wage hellhole.

Let me run you through an average day at my job, diluted down to the basest level of stupidity from the customers, or as I will henceforth refer to them: assholes.

Hour 1:

• Get asked where the Cool Whip is
• Cut 2 slices of cheese for someone
• Get asked where the hot chicken is...when the hot bar is ten feet from them

Hour 2:

• Spend 15 minutes explaining to someone why I don't have any other thawed cakes than the ones in the case
• Spend another 10 minutes explaining to someone else why I can't open another package of some meat or cheese
• Get asked where the Cool Whip is

Hour 3:

• Have no customers for half an hour, go on a smoke break, get a customer while on smoke break
• Have a customer address me like they've been waiting at the counter for 10 minutes when, in reality, it was 30 seconds
• Have that same customer, who was in such a hurry to be served, take 10 minutes deciding what they want while making me stand there

Hour 4:

• Get called in from a cigarette break, only to find the customer has fled. 
• Get asked where the Cool Whip is
• Wipe off the slicers 5 minutes before closing to get a jump on cleaning...only to have someone come up RIGHT AFTER I FINISH and ask for the dirtiest, messiest meats. 

Hour 5:

• Get asked at least 5 times if we're closed...when there's a sign right in front of them saying we are
• Find a minimum of 15 misplaced items carelessly stuck somewhere in the shelves and displays of my department, including frozen goods on the hot bar.
• Get asked, throughout the shift, if I can help someone at customer service when I'm CLEARLY wearing a hairnet and apron. 
• And, of course, get asked where the Cool Whip is

My only joy is the comfort I have in knowing...no. No, I take that back. There is no joy.

Only pain.

Imma Monster. Imma eat my girlfriend.

*OM*

Wordslinging Critic: I Am Number Four

Wordslinging Critic: Hall Pass

Tabletop Tales: Monastic Order Project!

I'm actually pretty proud of this one.

Normally, this sort of elaborate and in-depth work is left to guys like Mikey and Pete who literally design entire games around this sorta shit. But it was my turn to give it a shot.

Not create a game, mind you. Oh no no that would be far too tough for me to attempt at this time. No no, I worked to create a philosophic belief system to be the foundation for a monastic order of monks I was attempting to establish in Mikey's Friday night Amber game.

Wait wait...I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's back up.

I don't recall if I'd mentioned Mikey's game previously in my blog or not, but a quick recap. Mikey started his own mini Amber game with Wes, myself, Pete, and later on my girlfriend Julia just for funsies. We all had such a good time that we made it a weekly thing. Within the game, we got cool powers from Brand of Amber (go look it up, you lazy bastards), and went about on our merry adventures. The adventures eventually led us to set up shop in the Dragonlance world of Krynn.

While in Krynn, we got to bear witness to the apocalyptic backlash of the gods upon the world because of everyone's arrogance, and we're left to help humanity build itself back up for the huge resurgence of evil that we're told will be coming in a few hundred years.

No big deal, right?

Anyway, one of our plans to help humanity is to introduce the idea of unarmed combat and self-reliance and introspection to the people. Essentially, we're introducing what a "monk" is to a bunch of people who have no concept of "monk".

With this in mind, I craft THIS:

It's difficult to see, I know, but I literally crafted that design and the accompanying 12 point virtue/bane system from scratch in Microsoft Word. Damn thing took me hours to make, but it all paid off when I impressed Pete, Mikey, Wes, Julia, anyone else I showed.

And the design isn't just for show either! Oh no, the way it's shaped correlates to how everything relates to each other. It would take FAR to long to explain everything here, especially without a readable version of the design available, but simply put:

I have my awesome moments. And this was one!

Tabletop Tales: My Necromancer Girlfriend!

So...it finally happened.

My Amber group (specifically GM Pete and Mikey) convinced my girlfriend to join the game. I was encouraging this to happen, of course, because I knew she would have a good time, but I didn't expect any of what followed.

Oh no, faithful readers...what followed was pure ridiculousness.

Let's start off by explaining the powers in the Amber universe...

*ahem* Within the Amber universe (or Pete's version for the sake of clarity), there exist 13 (possibly 15) Great Race powers that govern the balance and nature of the multiverse in its entirety. Eight of the thirteen powers are dichotomous of each other. Four of the remaining five are different branches of a single "power" and the very last power is standalone.

Okay! Let's begin!

• Amberite - a person with the Amberite power has the ability to travel through Shadow (different worlds...think Sliders), alter probability, and other cool things. 

• Warlock - the Warlock power utilizes one of the four (possibly six) elements.
• Air
• Water
• Earth
• Fire

• Shaper - the shapeshifting beings that work through cooperation amongst the creatures and ecosystem
• Monster - the shapeshifting beings that work through domination of other living things and spirits

• Loremaster - the master of all knowledge currently present in a world
• Doomgazer - the master of' all dead knowledge in a world

• Artificer - a master craftsman of trumps and amazing magical items
• Breaker - master destroyer of magical items and...pretty much anything else

• Mage - utilizing spirits and spells for various effects
• Necromancer - utilizing death and the dead for spells and various effects

WHEW! Okay...that's all of the known powers within Pete's Amber game. Those were basic descriptions of each, meaning that all of them have much more in-depth descriptions, but we'll save that for another time. I keep mentioning two more unnamed powers because several of us theorize that the Warlock power also extends to include a Light' Warlock and a Darkness Warlock. But, we have no evidence of this...yet.

Anyway, the guys finally convince Julia to join the game. The amusing thing was that I was away talking to some other folks when they accomplished this feat, so I didn't get to hear what happened. What DID happen was the following:

Me - *comes back to the gaming circle* "Hey guys, what happened?"
Mikey - "Julia's joining the game."
Me - "Really?? That's great! Finally! What's she playing?"
Mikey - "A necromancer."
Me - "....what?"

It's true, loyal readers, that my girlfriend willingly CHOSE to be a horrible death spellcaster. Why? Because, and I quote this from Mikey, she thought it would be "fun". I'm not sure whether to be horrified or horribly aroused by this.

Anyway, Pete finishes his sidebar with Julia and brings her back, introducing the party to her, in-game. She suddenly appears, being spat out by a horrible, gaping maw of hell and screaming. Necromancer? Naaah...couldn't be.

The amusing thing is that WE, the in-game versions of ourselves (we're playing ourselves if you haven't read any of my previous entries), don't know who she is. She, however, knows who WE are. How is this possible? Well, take a look at this...

[ ]

This box represents the point in and out of game that I started playing the game. What happens from this point is this...
 ___________
 |
[ ]
 |
 ---------------

The solid line represents the time line from my characters perspective. In that timeline, I had left my old life on Earth behind to become a Shaper. The dotted line represents the real life timeline where I continue to play games, go to work, etc.
 __________________
 |
[ ]
 |
 ---------------( )-------

Now, the circle on the real life timeline represents the period where I met and started dating my girlfriend, Julia. The issue is that in the Amber game timeline, I NEVER MET HER. So, as I stated earlier, she remembers ME and us dating, but I, and everyone else in the party, don't know her.

So what horrible solution to this does Pete concoct? Simple, to obtain her terrible necromancy powers, she sees her world's version of me get run over and is offered the power to "save me". She agrees, becomes a necromancer, takes possession of the spirit of that world's me, and shows up where we are. And then she's coaxed by powers unseen to GIVE me, the horrible spirit devouring Monster, the spirit to eat without knowing what it is.

So I eat it. Obviously.

And, wouldn't you know it, the entire real life timeline and Amber timeline merge into my head as two separate, but equally normal-feeling, sets of memories.

Sometimes Pete is a right bastard, y'know?