Tabletop Tales: Cheating and Diceless Games

Now, I'll admit that I've flubbed a few dice rolls in my day.

 

Every gamer has done it at some point. You might find yourself in a situation that you REALLY want to succeed in, the dice may just be refusing to roll in your favor, or maybe you did it to pull off something really cool looking and impress the other players. 

Whatever the reason, everyone has cheated or will cheat at some point in their gaming career. I'm not saying it's all right to do this, but I do believe it's acceptable to turn the other cheek in most cases.

MOST cases. 

This being said, there is a limit to what is acceptable. Fibbing about a dice roll once in a blue moon is okay in my book, both as the player doing it and as the gamemaster being lied to about the roll. Fibbing about dice rolls all the time...that's another story.

Heh...get it? "Loaded" dice

My gaming friends and I know of a certain individual (who shall remain nameless) that constantly cheats at his dice rolls. Is there proof of this? Not in the sense that someone has video evidence of him doing it, no. However, if his dice rolls are legitimate, he is the luckiest man on the face of the earth and should play the lottery immediately. 

Why does he constantly lie about his dice rolls? Well, I can't say for certain (not being him, and all), but I believe it's because he wants to always be the best in whatever game he's playing. And that's just selfish gamer behavior right there. 

It's understandable that any player will want their character to excel and be powerful, skillful, impressive, etc., but one should do that through skill in building the character and playing them creatively. NOT, as this article suggests, through the use of underhanded out-of-game tactics. 

 

The constant cheating in such cases gets so bad that it forces the gamemaster to take drastic measures in correcting it. In most situations, they would simply tell all their players that the dice rolls have to be done in the open where everyone can witness the result. However, the issue with this is that it detracts the amount of trust between the gamemaster and the players, specifically those that AREN'T cheating. On the other side of the coin, allowing the cheating to continue detracts from the honest players' enjoyment as well.

No matter the decision made, the outcome is lose-lose for everybody. 

This is why, when I hear stories about persistently untrustworthy gamers, I become irritated. There's no excuse for that type of behavior, as often as they're doing it. In my humble opinion, a game can be enjoyed without resorting to cheating to have the "best" character. Gaming is a communal activity and that sort of behavior completely contradicts that. Many games encourage teamwork and I, personally, feel a great sense of pride and accomplishment when the players start working together in a consistently effective manner.

This is why I enjoy diceless games, such as Amber.

What better way to eliminate the possibility of cheating than to get rid of the dice altogether. In diceless games, conflicts are typically decided through who has the higher appropriate stat or stats. For example, an arm-wrestling match is decided simply by who has the higher Strength. A more in-depth example may be a contest of who can solve a Rubiks Cube faster, determined by who has the higher Intelligence (for solving the pattern portion of the puzzle) and Dexterity (for twisting the puzzle into completion).

There is simply NO way a player can cheat in a diceless game. Yes, a player can find loopholes and use lateral thinking to make their character more powerful, but that all involves figuring things out in the game, and not actually using the aforementioned underhanded out-of-game tactics. 

But, unfortunately, most games aren't diceless, and therefore this solution is limited to the few that are. 

Honestly, when I run a game, I typically try to select players that I know will honestly play and enjoy the overall experience instead of trying to ruin it. However, you can't always predict people's behaviors so here's a short list of my ways to deal with cheaters (as the GM). 

• Before you even start playing your game, gather all your players together and tell them that you don't condone cheating of any kind. This upfront discourages most people from even considering it.
• If you suspect a player of cheating, don't call him out in front of everyone. Take him aside privately when the session is over and talk to him. This way, they aren't humiliated in front of everyone else and you can give them a warning. I personally like to use the three strikes rule, since I'm a patient person, but other GMs may prefer the one warning. 
• If you're a player and you notice another player cheating, don't call them out on it either. Bring your concerns to the GM privately so that he may deal with it accordingly.
• If it continues, even after you've issued the required number of warnings, you have two choices left. You can either resort to having everyone roll openly, as stated earlier, or ask the player to leave the game. Neither option is very fun to implement, but one must done if you want the cheating to stop. 

Hopefully, this will help in correcting any issues you may be facing within your gaming group. Being the GM and having to deal with a situation like this isn't an easy thing to do, but remember this: the honest players are looking to you to keep the game enjoyable. If you fail to address a problem like this, you're basically failing at doing your job.

Game Reviews - Lost: Via Domus

Now, I don't normally do video game reviews. This is mainly because...well...I don't really play many video games. However, I was browsing through my local game store (Tower of Games, located conveniently in the heart of Hampton Roads, Virginia) when I stumbled across a copy of Lost: Via Domus.

Now, being a fan of the television program of the same name, I HAD to take this golden opportunity and play this obviously enjoyable interactive experience first-hand. I mean, what could possibly go wrong with this plan of action, right?

Right?

So, I slapped down my hard-earned five bucks to spend the day playing the game in the store's cyber cafe. Somewhere between 6-8 hours later (I seriously lost track of time due to both the immense amount of SUCK and the immense amount of wanting to see the ending) I finally finished the game. That's right, kids, the damn thing was criminally short for ANY video game of this console generation. 

And, as I stated before, the damn thing was a piece of raging, reeking, rancid SUCK. 

Seen here: The game

"But Jason," you may be saying to your computer monitor, "why are you surprised that a game based on a television series sucks?" 

First of all, shut up. 

Second of all, this game isn't just game-based-on-a-television-show bad. Oh no...Lost: Via Domus is BAD. Seriously. BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD. But, I'll listen to the advice of those that have come before me and begin by listing some of the better qualities of the game.

One thing in particular that I was happy about was the fact that all of the cast members did the voices of their corresponding characters. 

However, my giddiness about this particular bonus was quickly dashed upon the rocks of logic and marketing as I realized that all of the cast members were more-than-likely contractually obligated to provide their voices for this festering pile of aardvark excrement. Don't believe me? Think about it. Lost: Via Domus was realeased in 2008. Lost the show was in the middle of its fourth season and had been given the go-ahead for a fifth, so there was NO WAY that the video game producers were going to let the actors slip away from their dubbing duties. Additionally, and I hate to admit this, but I'm sure the actors weren't begrudging ANOTHER fat paycheck from their cash cow television show. 

Whatever.

Another good aspect of this game was the FIRST time you were chased around by the Smoke Monster. I found this sequence to be both suspenseful and exciting. However, THIS good point is also dashed to hell, only this time upon the rocks of mediocrity and poor design. What I mean is that the first sequence was very good...and then they repeated the sequence, oh, THREE MORE TIMES. Yeah, the game designers were so lazy that they copied the same run-and-hide sequence three more times. 

So, good points? There aren't any. Let's review this fucking thing. 

Long story short, you play one of the miraculously unheard of and unseen survivors of the crash, Elliott, who has plot-driven amnesia. Through running around the island and talking to the other characters, Elliott slowly pieces together who he was and what happened to him before the flight. 

The game itself follows an incredibly boring and predictable cycle. 

First you'll:

Talk to all the available characters!

Then you'll: 

Run to some location on the island!

At which point you'll:

Find something or talk to someone to trigger a flashback!

And from there you rinse and repeat until you finish all seven terrible "episodes". This formula stays pretty solid throughout the game, with only a few minor variations such as "find something and BRING IT BACK to trigger a flashback" or "run to some location on the island WHILE BEING CHASED BY OTHERS". Really, it's just things they tack on to pad the games 6-8 hour playtime. 

And don't get me started about the fucking ridiculous inventory/trading system. Basically it works like this: various things can be used as "money" on the island. Mostly bottles of water, beer, coconuts, etc. that you find lying around. You collect these and trade them to whatever character happens to be acting as the "merchant" at that point in the game to buy useful things, like a gun, bullets, lantern, oil for your lantern, double-handed dildo...you know, the essentials. 

The issue I have with this whole setup is threefold. 

First, you have limited space in your inventory. So, after loading up with valuable boxes of food and cans of beer to trade later on, you find yourself in need of that torch you just discovered. What do you have to do? Get rid of an entire collection of beer or food or whatever you happen to have JUST to open that one slot. This isn't the worst offender, and Resident Evil 5 had the same issue. However, things get worse. 

Let's say you manage your inventory carefully and have all the necessary items you need and have stocked up on other items to trade in for money. Great! Wait...where's the character that you're supposed to trade with? Well...it was Sawyer last episode but Sawyer's gone now. WHO THE HELL DO I TALK TO TO UNLOAD THESE FUCKING COCONUTS GODDAMMIT! So, you end up having to repeat the "Talk to all available characters" portion of the game until you discover who the new "merchant" is. 

But, oh no. Oh there is a much worse offender than those two issues. Oh no no no. The game, in its vast and infinite wisdom, explains to you how important it is to have plenty of oil for your lantern and bullets for you gun. So what, as a good little fucking gamer, do you do? Well OBVIOUSLY you fucking spend an ungodly unnecessary amount of time collecting tradable goods JUST so you can stock up on those things. Because fuck knows you don't want your ass caught in an unwinnable situation because you didn't buy enough fucking LANTERN OIL. And then what do you discover? You have enough bullets to kill a small country and enough lantern oil to give arsonists a wet dream...but you don't need them.

I'll repeat that. You. Don't. Need. Them. 

The game spends it's ENTIRE FIRST HALF WAVING THESE THINGS AROUND FOR YOU TO BUY ONLY TO MAKE THEM ENTIRELY USELESS IN THE END. 

*groan* 

And we still haven't gotten to the worst or dumbest aspects of this game. It's hilarious, I tell you, the lengths I go to warn people...putting my own sanity on the line and all. 

Another feature that particularly bothers me is the camera function. Yes! I forgot to mention that Elliott is photographer and has a camera with him at all times that you can whip out to take pictures of...well anything! What purpose does this serve to the overall game and plot? Why nothing of course! The only reason the camera feature is in the game is...*drumroll*...achievements! That's right, if you take pictures of the right objects, at the right distance, with the right framing, you'll get a stupid achievement! Hoo-fucking-ray!

The manufacturing plate on the hatch is one of the optional "photo opportunities". Fucking bite me, game. 

But wait! We haven't even talked about the WORST aspect of the game. I labored through the entire thing, slaving over the stupid inventory system, strong-arming my way through really contrived and ridiculous puzzles, talking to EVERY character again and again and again...all for the sake of seeing the story to its end. 

And what, dear readers, do you think I was rewarded with? Guess. Go ahead, I'll wait. 

.........................................................................

The most BULLSHIT, CLICHED, "WAS IT ALL A DREAM?", COP OUT ENDING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. I mean...I know Lost is known for it's strange twists, unusual premises, and cliffhanger endings but THIS....the show never stooped THIS low. I felt dirty having paid five bucks to play it. I felt dirty for just PLAYING it, five bucks or not. 

I really don't want to tell you guys what the ending was, lest I seize up from stupidity and bite my own tongue, so I recommend just finding some Let's Play on YouTube to see for yourself. 

Man...I just....FUCK.

Tabletop Connoisseur: Tsuro

Find your path as we dive into the exciting diversion game called Tsuro!

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!

Is it just me, or does everyone have really bad memory and an incredibly gullible personality?

Once again, the myth of the 13th astrological (NOT astronomical) sign has re-emerged.

Since most people don't seem to recall this next bit, allow me to refresh you: THIS HAPPENED A FEW YEARS AGO!

Seriously! The SAME stunt was pulled a few years ago! I distinctly remember Facebook being all atwitter with the "discovery" of a new 13th sign and a redefined astrological date setup.

I can't believe that everyone is not only incredibly gullible, but gullible enough to fall for the same stunt TWICE! You all should be ashamed...

Tabletop Connoisseur: Pirate Versus Pirate

Shiver your timbers and race for the booty as we play the 2-3 player game Pirate Versus Pirate!

Wordslinging Critic: The Fighter

I check out another of this season's Oscar bait with Marky Mark in The Fighter

Wordslinging Critic: Tron Legacy

I get my light cycles and identity disks ready as I take a look at the nearly 20-year-waiting sequel, Tron Legacy!

Short Film: A Geek in the Night

I take a stab at short (very short) film making with my first: a brief look at being both restless and up way too late.

Personal Projects: Book Boxes

Well, my death ray project is on hold. Because of certain delaying circumstances and the lack of necessary tools to move forward, my death ray is on hold indefinitely. I'll share news on it as it arises.

Meanwhile, however, I've been busy working on a new project! I found instructions online somewhere on how to make those nifty hollow book boxes to hide little odds and ends. I figured I'd give it a go aaaaand....

Voila! With a glue and water mixture, a few sharp knives, and some patience, I was able to create this nifty book box!

I got the idea to start making custom containers for all the board games I've acquired recently and I thought I'd start with my Arkham Horror game by creating a nifty "Book of Cthulhu Mythos".

So I took a spare thick book I had lying around (don't you book lovers get uppity on me, it was a shitty book), and converted it into the weighty "Cthulhu Tome". I'll be having a special someone painting the sealing star onto the cover and spine of the book to complete the look and there it is!

If any of you want to make your own book box, here are some handy instructions to get you through it fairly easily.

How to Make a Hollow Book Box

Enjoy everyone!

False Faces

It's something you don't pick up on unless you've been in my line of work for a period of time.

I work in a supermarket deli. You know the drill...cutting meats and cheeses for the masses. Well, having worked in a large variety of customer service-oriented jobs, I've learned the subtle (and many times not-so-subtle) nuances of the strange creature often called the "customer".

Here is an example of one such nuance, though brief may this entry be.

Oftentimes while at work, I'll take a look around my department (as I'm programmed to do, like a good little worker) and I'll meet the gaze of some customer who will smile at me.

At first, I thought this display of friendliness was just that: a display of friendliness. It wasn't until I spent more time amidst the consumers that I found this to be untrue.

No. When the customers smile at you like that, you can bet good money that they'll immediately walk over and expect you to drop what you're doing and take care of their needs. Don't get me wrong, faithful readers, and misunderstand this as a rant against having to work in a customer-oriented profession. No, this goes much deeper.

It just irritates me that these displays of amiability are merely ploys to lure me into a false sense of comfort so I'll hopefully feel better about having demands barked at me. Clearly, now having the experience I do, I don't see a customer's smile as warm and inviting but rather annoying and disenchanting.

But then I was proven wrong. The other day, a customer smiled at me and approached the counter in normal fashion. However, instead of waiting for me to come over and fill their order, the person merely looked about and walked away.

This meant their smile was genuine. A sincere display from a sincere person.

This goes to show that one should not always condemn all based on the actions of most. Live and learn, right?

Wordslinging Critic: True Grit

I take a look at the Coen Brothers latest cinematic venture as they remake the famous John Wayne film, True Grit.