Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I'm back! I know it's been MONTHS (fucking MONTHS, for fuck's sake!) since I posted but I'm back now and hopefully will be putting up new content on a slightly more consistent basis!
My punishment will be swift
All of that being said, this particular article was inspired by a late night evening with my roomie and best buddy Wes. I was keeping Wes up with talks of the various roleplaying games that we were in at the time or previously. This conversation, as per usual, led to a discussion of our favorite characters. This, in turn, led to a discussion about what the theme songs for our characters would be.
Me, being the type of gamer that I am, had already picked out theme songs for some of my favorite characters. This is a brief list of theme songs that I had chosen for my own characters or my friends characters.
Should be fun, right?
The Shaper - (Amber)
If any of you are long-time readers of mine (I use the term "long-time" loosely, in this case) than you may recall my mentioning of Amber and my characters from them. Specifically, my Shaper character. A quick recap of the character - the Shaper was me with the power to turn into any living thing. Specifically, my specialty was the form of the feathered serpent. The downside to this was, of course, losing myself in the animal mind and giving in to darker, more primal urges.
Therefore, the song I choose for this character is:
The Monster (pre-angel) - (Amber)
Going along the same Amber train of thought, I figured I'd do pre-angel Monster me. This character was Shaper me at a later time with a different power. I had acquired the terrible destructive power of the Monster, but hadn't chosen a form yet. The downside to this power was this terrible hunger inside of myself that kept gnawing at me if I didn't feed it. Humans tended to satiate it the best.
Therefore, I believe this song choice is best. Sidenote - Wes actually picked this one. I approve of his selecting abilities:
The Monster (post-angel) - (Amber)
Okay, okay...this is my last Amber entry until later. This is the same character as above, but I had chosen the form of a rakasha, an unbound angel. I did so so that I could use the power responsibly without compromising my morals.
This in mind, I chose this song:
Pak-cha - (Dungeons and Dragons 3.5 ed)
I can't recall if I've ever mentioned Pak-cha before in my blog, which is strange because he's my favorite character that I ever breathed fictional life into. Ah, well. Pak-cha was part of an evil party of evil goddess worshippers. He started out as a mindless bodyguard and, by the end of the campaign, had worked his way up to becoming his goddess's champion. He was lethal, brutal, and almost unbeatable in one-on-one melee combat. He was LITERALLY the heavy-hitter and he heavy-hitted often.
I believe this song does him the justice he deserves:
Before I continue, I feel the need to share the theme songs for the remaining members of this campaign's party. We each actually picked our own themes and I recorded all of theme. I won't go into detail about each specific character, but I'm sure you can get a general idea of the tone from the collection.
Xeahvyn’s Theme –
Animal I Have Become (totally ripped this off from her, I admit)
Bruce’s Theme – Bat Out of Hell
Tsiona’s Theme – Devil’s Daughter
Tailoc’s Theme – Bard’s Song
Greth’s Theme – Bodies
Korn’s Theme – Headstrong
Razgriz’s Theme – Go Into the Water
Kee’ari-Uh’s Theme – Master of Puppets
Darkmane’s Theme – Castratikron
Wires - (Shadowrun)
Wires was another of my all-time favorite characters. He was an all-powerful technomancer (re. magic hacker) in a world almost entirely run by data and electronics. He was an essential asset to the shadowrunning (re. mercenary) team that he was a part of and could do almost anything in his niche without fail. Even the other players marveled at how ridiculously effective this character was. This all being said, he was essentially useless in the real world. However, that never stopped him from doing his job and putting his life on the line to get his part done for the team.
It actually took me a while to find this song, but I believe it's the most fitting:
Bones - (Shadowrun)
Now, we've finally left my own characters (egotistical asshole that I am) and have moved onto my friends' characters. Bones, Wes's character, was an orc-oni adept (re. Japanese demon orc physical-mage) in the same game that Wires from above was in. Both characters were completely different from each other. Where Wires was serious, Bones was carefree. Where Wires was physically weak, Bones was physically powerful. Where Wires was vastly intelligent, Bones was...lacking. However, Bones was the heaviest hitter of our shadowrunning team and proved it on a number of occasions.
Because of his Japanese origin, carefree and upbeat attitude, and general badassery, I chose this song for Bones (Wes approved):
Lei Sheng - (Shadowrun)
ONE more Shadowrun character for the list...list one, again, is from the same game as Bones and Wires. This character belonged to our friend Jim and was a Chinese combat mage that knew kungfu. I don't believe I need to say more than that.
Here's the song:
I'm sure I could think of songs for more of my own characters or characters belonging to other friends of mine, but I'm mainly sticking to ones that jumped out at me. Or ones that I'd had in my head for a while.
Okay, I'm just lazy.
However, I did come up with a few group theme songs. Here we go!
Shadowrunning Team Theme
This was chosen by Wes and myself for our team in the Shadowrun game. We felt it appropriate seeing how both we viewed our team/characters and our characters viewed the team as unbeatable. Up to that point in the campaign, we might as well have been. Nothing had stopped us and nothing had slowed us down.
Therefore, the clear choice was:
Amber Party Theme
This one is actually a funny story. Julia, my now ex, was playing in our Amber game at the time and she was an artist/animator. She had this idea that her and I would surprise the party with an animated "opening" to the Amber game, as if it were an animated show. I loved the idea and worked with her toward it. Unfortunately, her and I parted ways before the project was completed but NOT before I picked out the music we were to use.
I give you...that music:
And that's all I have for now, intrepid readers! If I come up with more, I might do another of these for my own amusement. For now, however, this is a pretty comprehensive list covering my favorite characters and games.
I hope you enjoyed reading it and promise to work on bringing new material back to the blog!
Currently, the government is trying to pass two bills, SOPA and PIPA, in an attempt to fight against online piracy. However, both bills present a threat to the free and open Internet that we have all come to love and enjoy.
I, honestly, can't explain the details behind these bills and how they endanger everything. However, plenty of sites are currently participating in a Net-wide "blackout" in protest. Their sites now link to various explanations and encouragements to contact your local congressman/representative about SOPA.
And that's only a small fraction. For a full list of sites that are blacking out, and for more information on the bills and how you can fight them, visit SOPAstrike
We can make a difference! Fight back against Internet censorship!
I was at Tower today, planning on getting some work done for my upcoming Amber game, when I got side-tracked by some board games (I say "some", but it was really just me teaching some people how to play King of Tokyo). Anyway, after a few rounds of King of Tokyo, I wander into the cyber cafe to see Don Sherig setting up several networked laptops.
"What's going on here?" I asked, moderately interested.
"Oh, we're setting up to play Artemis," Don replied.
I, of course, inquired about the game. The answer I received, I kid you not, BLEW MY MIND. I'm sure some people out there have already heard about this. If you haven't however, allow me to give you a quick synopsis of what it is.
If you've ever seen an episode of Star Trek, than you're familiar with how the bridge of a typical starship is comprised of several people, each at a post that's essential to the functioning of the ship. Well, that's what Artemis is. Artemis allows a group of people to simulate what it's like to each take a station on the bridge of a Star Trek-esque starship and make it work as they go through missions.
The stations available to fill are:
Weapons: The weapons officer is in charge of, duh, firing the ship's various weapons systems. The game offers "beams" (which, let's be honest, are stand-ins for phasers), mines, torpedoes, and the powerful "nukes". The weapons officer also has the ability to turn ship's power into more torpedoes or torpedoes into more power. The cool thing about the interface for the weapons officer is that, when using the beams, they can target specific parts of the enemy ship to cripple specific systems. THAT is cool.
Helm: The helm officer is, essentially, the pilot. They make the ship go. They make the ship turn. The control speed, direction, etc. This is important because the pilot needs to be sure that, during a fight, the ship maneuvers as much away from enemy fire as possible while, at the same time, making sure the ship's weapons officer can still fire upon them. I didn't get to look in-detail at the helm interface, but it seemed fairly straight-forward.
Science: The science officer in in-charge of a LOT of different aspects. First and foremost, they have control of the scanners and the information they provide. This comes into play when an enemy ship's shield frequency is required to bypass their defenses. They also are the ones that give the bearings for navigation to the helm officer. Essentially, anything scan-related or navigationally supplementary falls under the science officer's control.
Communication: The communication officer is the one that takes incoming calls. They also hail enemy ships to surrender when in combat. Contacting friendly star bases and ally ships also falls within the communication officer's control This is important because the communication officer is the one that communicates the orders to friendly bases and ships to do things like "make us more ammo" or "assist us in battle".
Engineering: The engineering officer (my role) is the one that delegates where the ship's power goes at any given point. They have the option of bumping the beam power, or the engines, or the maneuvering, or any of the other seven systems in the ship. They do this through a careful balance of coolant resources (which keep high-running systems from overheating) and power application to optimize the ship for certain scenarios. To save these settings, the engineering officer is allowed ten presets in which they can record a setting and jump back to it at the click of a button. On top of all that, the engineering officer monitors any damage to the ship and controls the three damage control teams to go and fix them.
Captain: The captain is the only role in the game that does not require an actual computer to play. The captain sits back and gives the other officers orders to follow during the scenarios. We were fortunate to have have our friend Jim be the captain. Initially, I thought the role of captain would be a boring one, but when the game got going and Jim started coordinating the rest of us, it actually felt like a cooperative starship effort.
It took a bit of tweaking and experimenting before we all started to get the hang of our various systems, but once we actually figured out everything we were doing, it got REALLY exciting. We were engaging groups of enemy ships, encountering unknown space entities, saving space bases from attack, and generally hopping about the universe being badasses.
Unfortunately, green women aren't part of the experience.
Honestly, if someone told me that carefully adjusting a starship's power settings would be a blast, I'd probably look at them like the had just asked me to marry them in Klingon.
Again.
But there it was! A game that finally made us nerds feel like we were part of a legitimate starship crew and were actually jaunting about the universe. I got so immersed in the game that I, and several of the other players, didn't realize that hours had flown by and the store was closing. Hopefully, there will be more adventures of the U.S.S. Turris Ludi (tower of games in Latin) to come!
Make it so!
Monday, October 24, 2011
I don't normally do this particular style of writing. However, I'm in a mood today, so I figure I'll give it a try.
The white walls splashed with yellow light, combining to create a sickening ambience. The walls, half decorated and half completely bare, further the sinking feeling in my stomach. Half of these walls were left bare for a reason, though it be long forgotten now.
Now...now any semblance of a desire to hang up the various posters, pictures, whatever other useless meaningless crap is all but gone.
The floor, though carpeted, still proved hard as concrete beneath me. My back ached. My neck ached. I ignored it as I continued to stare at the luminescent screen of my nearby laptop. On it droned on the same videos and same shows that I always watched.
My life proved pretty boring at times like these.
In my mind raged the neverending desire to DO something.
LEARN French.
BUILD your steampunk outfit.
MAKE videos for you blog.
WRITE those scripts you need to finish.
It screams out relentlessly to a body and heart that have no desire to act. I see no point. Why do I see no point? Couldn't say?
Depressed? Maybe. The possibility is too great to ignore.
Can anything be done? Maybe. Clinical help is expensive and untrained friends and associates can only do so much.
My mottled collection of action stare at me from their perch across the room. All of them forever stuck in whatever pose I chose for each of them, all of them forever fated to sit there in each others company until I either outgrow them or lose them.
"What am I doing with myself?"
The quiet of the room, of the apartment at 1am, answered back with a resounding silence.
At times, I contemplated my own death. Sometimes it was, in fact, thoughts of suicide. Other times, it was thoughts of what my funeral would look like, who would attend, what would happen to me after death...the typical combination of self and existential questions that everyone asks about their own demise.
I am wholly unoriginal when it comes to this.
Then again, there is only so much originality and creativity when can have when it comes to the unknown. Though, I suppose, one could argue that the unknown would provide a much broader canvass on which to create.
Then agian, I'm not a painter.
I'm sure Julia would agree with the latter statement of the above paragraph. She likes to think in the abstract. It comes with the mindset she revels in.
She's currently planning a camping trip this weekend. This saddens me even more because it was something her and I were supposed to have done together while we were together and we never got the chance...or maybe I didn't try hard enough to do it. Regardless, she's getting to do it now, and good for her, I guess.
It is a firmly held belief of minee that most people in the world have a lot to say but very little so Say.
If that doesn't make any sense, welcome to my mind.
My ex and I were talking tonight and she began asking me a series of abstract, overly-intellectual questions because she happened to be in one of those moods. During this discourse, she mentioned that I always seem to have something to Say, but seem to hold back.
I responded simply with a few retorts, such as people not being ready, myself not being ready, and me not being able to find the Words.
She parried and riposted by questioning who got to determine such things and that perhaps people would never be ready for someone with something to Say. Saying that to deny the world the things that some people have to Say and the abstract nature of those Sayings would simply cause everyone to be quiet.
I responded with that, instead of actually Saying what needed to be said, Silence would fall (I was being funny, quoting Doctor Who, but realized the significance after the fact).
I wonder if I truly have something to Say. Does everyone have something to Say and many just lose it when they let go of what makes them who they are, or let go of their ability to think coherently or abstractly? I do believe that there is great potential in the world for Sayings, many of which are lost as one gets older. Or does becoming older grant one the clarity to see what they have to Say?
I'm fairly certain that my Saying wasn't obvious until I got older, but maybe it's different for everyone. Maybe, much like our individual fingerprints, what we have to Say is unique to all of us and how it fosters and grows, or inversely withers and disappears, is equally unique to each individual. Whereas high school may be the setting where one young teenager's Saying flourishes into realization, another's may be crushed entirely. There's really no way to no.
Which brings me to my next, rather sorrowful, conclusion on what we have to Say: there seems to be no way to properly develop one's Saying. So many things to Say are lost. So many unique and abstract ideas are never cared for and manifested and shared as they should be. So many possibly world-changing realizations are never realized because the Saying was lost...and that saddens me.
I feel my own Saying still within me. What it Says, I'm not certain. As I think of it, personal truths flash before my eyes, showing how unusually contradictory I am with myself and the world around me.
I speak ill to your face and say good things behind your back.
I value the mind above all other things, moreso than even those that claim they do as well.
I want the world to be more intelligent and have more common sense, but despise everyone less-intelligent than myself.
I am content, but not happy.
I value kindness and good-naturedness, but see the logic in domination and manipulation.
My mind wishes to do a great many things, but the flesh bag it wears feels differently.
I am sad with no reason.
These thoughts and many more flash within the seismic disruption of activity within the cracks and crevices of my mind. My mind, a mind that never ceases to be active, even when I'm actively trying to deactivate it. Oftentimes I find my mind wandering much like it did in my school days when class bored me to literal tears, not a surprising turn of events considering my job has a very similar setting as that of a school, and I go on my fantastic adventures to faraway lands. The same adventures that I often mention in others posts, wishing that I were capable of going on or being whisked away to.
Maybe my setting is stifling my Saying. Maybe I yearn for those faraway lands because my mind interprets that as the only way what I have to Say will be Said.
Hello, faithful readers. The last wordslinger, Jason, here. James only agreed to do Kane and Lynch 2 on the condition that he would get to write his own side of the events that occurred since I "made him look like an asshole" in previous installments of this series.
That being said, this is his side of the story. I won't say anything more to influence your opinion or perception of the matter so that this comparison remains completely and totally 100% to the reader's interpretation.
However, I WOULD like to point out that his article wasn't very funny so I had to clean it up a bit. And there were a lot of words misspelled. And it was just downright boring.
But I fixed it. So don't worry.
(Editor's Note: I'll be sticking these throughout the article in places I think it's necessary to point out my friend's ignorance. They'll usually accompany a correction I've made or something that makes no sense.)
So there I was back in Tower of Games on Saturday to burn some time before Pete’s Amber session. As usual I decided to do this by getting an all-day pass and getting on one of the 360s that they have there. But then I noticed something; Dumb hipster hat, a pair of eyes that matched that of a excited crack baby playing with his willy for the first time (Editor's Note: What the fuck does this even mean, James?), a goatee that belongs in a museum dedicated to the 90’s, and a stomach that was destined to become a beer belly lined with so much yeast that it would maintain a certain perk to it (Editor's Note: Was this a joke? I'm not even certain anymore if this, or any of the other things being written, are jokes). Yeah, I’m sure you would have guessed it by now: it was Jason.
(Editor's Note: Proper punctuation is critical to maintaining the correct tone for your article, James. Also, you're a fucking idiot.)
Editor's Note: In my defense, this was taken 10 years ago. Fucker.
Jason: JAMES! Come on let’s play a game together so I can put it on my blog! (Editor's Note: James, if you're considering this "writing" thing as a serious hobby, invest in elementary school grammar text books)
Several things went through my head. “GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!” was one of them. As well as the fact that the last two times he posted about our co-ops he made me out the be the dumb one and SOILED my good name. Well readers only I may soil myself. (Editor's Note: I'm sure my readers don't doubt this, buddy)
James: Ok, but only if you post my side of the story and you will post yours without reading mine first. Now why not “Kane and Lynch 2” (Editor's Note: This is incorrect. I was the one that chose Kane & Lynch 2. There is no joke here. James is just a liar)
He of course did not agree to play co-op in a game that was made to be a co-op. No, he picked Kane and Lynch 2: Pile of Hairy Dog Shit
OOPS my bad It was called dog DAYS not PILE OF HAIRY dog SHIT.
Easy mistake. (Editor's Note: I didn't correct these sentences because I wanted a clear example of how James doesn't understand how capitalization works)
Let me get what was wrong with the game out of the way first. I’m not going to get into the story as me and Jason just didn’t care. I read the plot on wiki later and found that I saved myself from making heavy sighs. You know it’s sad when you can spot bad writing and plot holes on the wiki. What disappointed me was that Kane never had his trippy moment where he starts to freak out. That was the highlight of the last game but they took it out. (Editor's Note: The fact that James actually referenced the first game and admitted to playing it shows how much more devoted, i.e. stupid, he is than I am)
Don’t worry guys I’ll get to why Jason sucks in a moment let me just blow past the game real quick. AI was uninspired and very buggy. Hit detection only detected when it felt like it. Level design was cramped and a little confusing. No melee or if there was it wasn’t working. Weapons were unrealistic. Taking cover was an ordeal. There was NOTHING in the gameplay I could speak of that was original. Simply put that game that Jason forced me to play had nothing above par. (Editor's Note: I like how James clearly states that it was me that chose Kane & Lynch 2 as the game to play when he earlier says HE was the one that chose it. Caught in our own lie are we, Mr. Marine?)
Now, on to why Jason sucks. I’ve seen 12-year-olds that could out play this guy in shooters. I didn’t mind the rush tactic that he used, sometimes it works because it denies the enemy time to prep. But not when Jason does it. (Editor's Note: This paragraph alone had 13 punctuation errors. Just wanted to point that out)
James: I’ll take the left side and push up.
Jason: Ok. Headshot. Headshot. Headshot.
James: That means you should get the fuck out my way at push up the right side.
Jason: Ok. Headshot. Headshot.
James:That's see here...now we...OW...JASON WHY am I am unprotected from the right. Those where clearly your guys that you blew past. Slow down we aren’t being timed!
Jason: Headshot....Headshot...Pft Keep up I’m getting SO many more kills then you (there is no way to tell this as the game didn’t keep track of stats)...oh by the way I’m 2 seconds away from dieing you should jump into this Chinese gang bang and save me.
(Editor's Note: James said none of the things he claimed to in the above dialogue. Either he was drunk, was remembering playing a different game, or is a liar. I'm still leaning toward the "liar" reason)
The game may have not had any stats to it but I do.
35.2% “Headshot” (72.3% of those were LIES)
20.7% “James, revive me.”
35.1% Shit Talk.
(Editor's Note: This is the point in the article when I'd question how James was able to accurately quantify the things being said. However, I realized that the answer is obvious: he's one of those retards that's only good at math. And by math, I mean coming up with bullshit figures)
After awhile we lost ourselves to cursing at each other. Thankfully, there were no kids there because F-bombs were being dropped like it was Pearl Harbor.
When Alex came in and told us that it was time to play Amber and you know what I thought it was over but no (Editor's Note: This sentence is beyond salvation. Enjoy your stay in grammar hell). He had to go on a monologue about how gay I was. Readers would you please refer to the first image. After awhile I decided it was time to keep my pimp hand strong. (Editor's Note: He didn't actually hit me in the balls, truth be told. He did, girlishly, slap me in the face before prancing off like a heartbroken ballerina trying to make sure her running mascara didn't get on her pretty pink tutu)
Editor's Note: Oh, yeah. Using the same image twice. Fucking hilarious, you master of comedy.
And there you have it readers. I hope this was an enlightening experience for all of you out there. Now go read something a bit more mentally stimulating before those brain cells you lost reading this garbage of his become permanent.
Those of you that have read my previous entries into this series know that this friend is the bane of my existence when it comes to multiplayer games. Now, I haven't been able to get any new material for this series because our dear James was away for several months doing his duty as a United States Marine. Bless him for doing our country proud.
However, he's back now. So the pain continues.
I will be the bigger man and admit that this round of suffering was my fault. We were at Tower of Games (located in Chesapeake, Virginia) and I suggested that we play another game together for the sake of a new article. He agreed and asked which game we should play.
Sure enough, the game that drew so much of our beloved Yahtzee's ire was available: Kane and Lynch 2: Dog Days.
And I'll go on to further admit that I'm not very good at shooters. However, I'd played this game before and found that I wasn't half bad despite the shitty controls and gameplay. I thought I'd give it another go, y'know?
Well, sure enough, this turned out to be a fun experience for all.
We boot up the game and James and I begin the first mission. Almost immediately, the game's terrible controls and camera, coupled with our inability to work together, turned the whole cyber cafe into a torrential storm of screaming obscenities (mostly directed at each other) the likes of which I had not had the pleasure of being apart of.
It went something like this:
James: Jason, what the fuck are you doing? You're charging at the enemy! Take cover!
Jason: Fuck you man! This is a bad game anyway, so just cover my rear!
James: I can't cover your rear if you run past three guys!
Jason: Come on, man! Aren't you a Marine or something! USE YOUR TRAINING!
James: WHAT GOOD IS TRAINING WHEN I'M PARTNERED WITH AN IDIOT!
Jason: FUCK YOU FUCKER!
And it went on from there.
One thing I had discovered in my previous playing of the game was that the hand guns were fairly useful in making headshots. I was particularly fond of the revolver (it seemed the most accurate), and was working diligently to try and take out however many enemies I could this time with the same technique.
It went something like this:
Jason: Headshot.
James: ....
Jason: Headshot.
James: ....
Jason: Headshot.
James: SHUT THE FUCK UP! A THIRD OF THOSE YOU MISSED, THE OTHER THIRD YOU KILL STOLE FROM ME, AND THE LAST THIRD....FUCK YOU!
Most engagements usually began with, as I previously stated, me running at the enemy guns a-blazing. I'm sure any of you hardcore shooter-gaming folk out there will laugh and scoff at my tactic and I have one simple response to you: fuck you.
Anyway, I would typically run at the enemies much to the anger of James who was trying to apply actual military tactics and maneuvers to a SHITTY GAME.
It went something like this:
James: Fuck, Jason you're in the way of my shot!
Jason: Fuck you.
James: You're ALWAYS in the way of my shots!
Jason: Fuck you. Shoot somewhere else.
James: GODDAMMIT JASON!
Jason: I'm down. Come revive me.
James: THAT'S THE TWELFTH FUCKING TIME!
Jason: FUCK YOU, MAN! JUST COME AND REVIVE ME!
Essentially if you combine all of these various elements into an almost incomprehensible maelstrom of swearing, that would pretty much describe what transpired between him and I. Granted, everyone else in the cyber cafe was rolling with laughter over the show they thought we were putting on for them, and I'm glad they found it amusing, but FUCK THEM.
Tempers got so heated that I eventually just went off on James.
It went something like this:
Jason: What the fuck were you doing for six fucking months? I bet you were actually over in man-thong land finally living out your dream and just going to town on any dick that you could find. I don't even think you were in Afghanistan a) because you came back unscathed and b) because you came back with this huge shit-eating grin that tells me that your yearly quota for cock was met over there. I bet the trees were made of dicks and they all had testicles for coconuts, and every fucking night you would sup of the sweet coconut-testicle juice, fulfilling every desire that you had ever had when-
And then he punched me in the dick. And slapped me.
