Doctor Who Series 6 Finale

"The first question! The question that must never be answered! Hidden in plain sight! The question you've been running from all your life! Doctor...who? Doctor WHO? DOCTOR WHO?"

Madman with a box

And that, my dear readers, was the closing line of this series finale of Doctor Who. Recently, I've been rewatching a lot of Tennant's last season and Smith's first season and it becomes apparent whenever you encounter a Stephen Moffat episode that he's been building up to this for quite some time.

Madman with a Doctor

It seems that this storyline has always been on Moffat's mind and he's finally able to bring it ot he forefront in the Whoniverse. Personally, I believe he's gearing up for the 50th anniversary of the show in 2013 where the Doctor's name, the question that every fan has ever had, the question that the show's own title is based on will finally be answered. What could be a more fitting way to celebrate five decades of Doctor Who than to do something spectacular and give the fans.

And, honestly, I think it's a brilliant idea. And brilliantly executed. I had my suspicions that "the Question" always being referenced in the show would, in fact, pertain to the Doctor's identity. I did have my suspicions that it might be about other things, but my mind kept occasionally coming back to the Doctor's identity.

"No, no, no," I would say to myself, in a fleeting moment of insanity, "That would be TOO obvious."

I swear you've been taking your meds

But the way in which it was presented...the method the writers used to execute the revalation of the Question, I realized that it was ever the only question that could be asked. For 50 years, viewers have watched this program, fallen in love with the many incarnations of the mad Doctor, all without every knowing the "madman with a box"'s name.

As I read in another article addressing recent Doctor Who storylines, Moffat has been building up to this since he before he was head writer, writing individual episodes for Tennant seasons. Now, being the man in control of the Doctor's destiny, so-to-speak, he finally is bringing his grand scheme to the forefront.

My personal belief is that Smith will stay on at least through the 50th anniversary and the 50th anniversary will be centered around the Dotor's name and everything hinted at in this series' finale. If my assumptions are correct, the world will know "Doctor who?" at long last. And if this turns out to be the case, allow me to say what a better man has said before me:

Fantastic! Allons-y! Geronimo!

Yu-Gi-Oh: A Retrospective

I'll admit it.

I played Yu-Gi-Oh when I was in high school.

 

Yeah yeah...say what you will, but Yu-Gi-Oh was the thing to be into back in those days. Many would call Yu-Gi-Oh a watered down Magic the Gathering without the extensive history or immense catalog of usable cards, and maybe they're right, but Yu-Gi-Oh had its own charm.

Looking back on the old episodes of the original series, the cheesiness shines through like a diamond buried in shit, but the reason it was so popular is evident. Imagine yourself a child between the ages of 8-14 and you're watching these supposed teenagers (right...they looked like they were in their 20s but whatever...) skipping out on school regularly to not only play a card game, but save the very world itself BY playing a card game.

On top of all that, every match (or "duel" for those not in the know) seemed like it was the most epic experience imaginable. You had these players (or "duelists") screaming at each other and making each move like they were a Bond villain unveiling their master plan. This was rather clever because this presentation assured that those watching would completely forget that they were, when it boils down to it, playing a card game.

What we pictured when we played the card game...

...and what was actually happening.

Honestly, rewatching the old episodes, I can't imagine how my younger self could even bare sitting through these episodes. They padded out every duel with a combination of explaining what each move in the duel was in excruciating detail, even more excruciating exposition about the power of friendship and faith in yourself, and constantly cutting away to characters not present.

Seriously, the show was almost as bad as DBZ as far as padding is concerned.

I'm finding myself quickly fast-forwarding through any bit that isn't the actual duel taking place in the episode. My older self seems only concerned with watching the epic bits with Yugi (the main protagonist) using his puberty powers to scream at his opponents.

Pictured above: 95% of the show

I'm not even joking. The protagonist basically spends every duel screaming at his opponents. He screams what cards he's playing, he screams what each card does, he screams when the duel swings one way or the other, he screams when he realizes he's out of popsicles, he ALWAYS screams.

But I digress.

As I got older, the natural order of things took effect and I grew out of the playing the game and watching the show. Only now, many years later, when I sit here watching old episodes on Hulu, do these thoughts resurface. As a cartoon, it was the most marketable thing since Pokemon. Hell, I'm certain it even piggybacked OFF of Pokemon.

It also didn't help the prepubescent/early pubescent boys that watched the show that all the female main characters were essentially double-d super models.

....shit!

Holy...

So, the appeal doesn't just come from the "epic" feel of the program, though some of the things pictured above could very well be described as "epic".

These days, I go into my local game store (Tower of Games, located in Chesapeake, VA) and see guys my age playing the Yu-Gi-Oh card game with teenagers and I can only sigh. It's a clear picture of how far the average geek/gamer may or may not evolve over the course of his/her gaming life.

I suppose we all grow out of things someday, right?

Television Limbo: Ways to Break the Between-Seasons Lull

And we've come to that point again in the year when most of my favorite television programs have ended and I have to endure a loooooong summer of having (mostly) nothing to watch.

Allow me to explain.

I don't watch a lot of television anymore. When I was a young boy of the Stupid Age, I was glued to the TV most times. I don't remember much of what I viewed, but I loved the idiot box like any child of my age would. As I grew older, however, the inevitable happened. My tastes refined, my cynicism grew, the programming degraded, and eventually I stopped using a television altogether.

No no, these days I just watch or retrieve the new episodes of whatever few shows I watch right off the internet. Honestly, I watch less than 10 shows that are currently still running and producing new episodes:

• Doctor Who
• Glee
• Community
• Leverage
• Dexter
• Metalocalypse
• The Venture Brothers

 That's IT. I've been considering adding the new Game of Thrones series to my collection, but I haven't decided. So, even with the Games of Thrones series, that is only eight programs.

Eight.

Out of the countless programs that air on television, I only deem eight shows worthy of watching. I'm not trying to be a snob, come across as a snob, seem like a snob, but have all of you SEEN what's on television these days? It's pretty bad.

However, as any watcher of television that is more diligent than I can tell you, there comes a time every year when shows end for the season and there's a lull in programming. The sad truth is that that time has come for me. The only program that is currently continuing to air new episodes is Doctor Who. Now, while that is a worthy enough show by itself, one episode a week does not tide the writer/geek over enough.

So, this is a small list of things one can do to pass the time until the next season of your favorite shows begins:

#5 - Do Something Artistic

Do you think that that one scene from that one season from that one show you watch could have been done better? Think the storyarc of your favorite crime drama series was written by a bunch of drunk chimps huffing paint? Was the design of that one set/costume/whatever just terrible?

Well, try and do better! During this down time, pick up a pencil, pen, camera, camcorder, SOMETHING artistic and creative and see what you can do with it! It doesn't have to be Oscar-winning or the next Louvre masterpiece but dammit at least you're exercising that portion of your brain that you let rot over the last several months.


#4 - Go Fucking Outside

I can just hear all eight people that read my blog simultaneously laughing at this cliched suggestion.

Hear me out.

I'm not trying to call all of you overweight slobs that would prefer the comfort of your filtered light and ass-printed couch cushion (though some of you may be). No no...I'm merely saying that beyond your front door is a world full of exciting and affordable (sometimes free) things to do!

Go to a zoo! Go driving/walking around and go into any store/establishment that peaks your interest! Go ride a bike! Go walking in a park! Go to a local festival of some sort! Just do SOMETHING!

So many things go on around us that we ignore or miss out on because we spend more of our days indoors doing...whatever. It wouldn't hurt you (or me, at times) to get out there and see some of those things.

#3 - Make a New Friend

This one should be pretty obvious, but whatever. Sometimes we get into such a routine. Hanging out with the same people, doing the same things, going to the same places, that we never interact with anyone beyond our normal circles of friends.

This isn't healthy for a number of scientific reasons that I can't be bothered to share with all of you right now, but suffice it to say it's bad for you. That's why I encourage everyone to, once in a while, try to make a new friend. That guy you see every week at the bar but never talk to? That girl who always serves you coffee in the morning? Talk to them! You never know what interests you might share and what kind of friendship could be kindled by simply saying "hello".


#2 - Try a New Activity

This somewhat goes hand-in-hand with #4 and #3, but I believe it deserves it's own category for a few reasons. First, like #4, it involves going out and doing something. However, I'm encouraging you to find a new hobby or activity (like a sport, for example) and trying it out. You may not like it but, hell, you won't know until you try, right?

Second, like #3, it will break up the monotony of the routine we get ourselves into. You may not be tired of playing poker on Saturdays, but have you tried playing trivia in a new bar on Wednesdays? You may have your weekly game of baseball on Thursdays, but have you ever played in a weekly RPG?

Honestly, my opinion is that if you can't bring yourself to try anything new because you're so SURE that you won't like it without even giving it a chance, you're too close-minded to be reading my blog and need to leave immediately.

Seriously. Leave.

#1 - Read a Fucking Book

What's that? You miss your favorite television programs? And you hate human contact and going outside? Why, I have the solution for you, my friend! It's called....

A book!!

That's right, just like watching television, only better, a book provides you with an informative and/or narrative piece of literature that can entertain you for hours/days/weeks/whatever. The best part about this wonderful invention? You don't have to leave home to do it, there are no commercials, you can stop wherever you like and come right back to that place, and, best of all, there are literally millions upon millions of books in existence so you can rest assured that there's something out there for you.

Another great thing about reading a book is that it will stimulate that thing in your skull that is probably starving for exercise...y'know, your brain.

Just give it a try.

Wordslinging Critic: Toonami Cancellation

I hadn't realized it until just this moment, but September 20, 2008 was the point in history when Cartoon Network took a downturn into the almost unceasingly mind-numbing dreck programming that they play now.

Why is that, you may ask? Well, my dear friends, that date marked the end of the 11-year-long run of one of the greatest blocks of young adolescent programming on television. I am, of course, talking about Toonami.

Toonami

Now, before I get into it, I have to mention that YES, I do know this criticism is coming almost two years late. YES, I know Adult Swim still exists. But a) I needed to collect my thoughts and b) that's going downhill as well.

"Now what IS Toonami?" you uninitiated heathens may be asking yourselves. Well Toonami was an action-animation block of programming of Cartoon Network's creation. The block made its premiere on March 17, 1997, putting together a lineup of action shows that dominated the airtime. I'll get to what shows later on...

The face of Toonami changed quite a bit from year to year. The whole "gimmick" behind it was that it was supposed to make kids think that it was being broadcast secretly from Ghost Planet Industries (where Space Ghost Coast to Coast was made) by Space Ghost's villain-turned-producer Moltar.

Moltar, Toonami's first host

As time went on, the host changed to TOM (a nifty robot dude with a badass voice), and the environment changed to the wicked CG spaceship, the Absolution. Other changes occurred, mainly to TOM's appearance, alternate locations, so on, but the overall feel of Toonami was the same. It made kids feel like they were part of the action, right there with TOM and his computer counterpart SARA.

TOM, Toonami's second host

TOM's second incarnation

TOM's third incarnation

I have the fortune to say that I actually got to watch Toonami from the beginning and stick with it through the majority of its run. The lineup changed yearly, adding and subtracting shows (as most blocks of programming do to stay fresh) but it never disappointed with the overall quality it offered (until the last few years...).

Here's the yearly lineup for this wondrous gem:

1997
* Super Adventures/Roulette (composed of Space Ghost, Birdman, The Herculoids, Shazzan, Speed Racer, The Impossibles, Superman and other Hanna-Barbera action shorts)
* ThunderCats
* Voltron
* The Real Adventures of Jonny Quest
1998
* Robotech
* Beast Wars: Transformers
* Sailor Moon
* Superfriends
* Dragon Ball Z
1999
* The Powerpuff Girls
* Ronin Warriors
* ReBoot
2000
* G-Force: Guardians of Space
* Tenchi Muyo!
* Batman: The Animated Series
* Superman: The Animated Series
* Gundam Wing
* Blue Submarine No. 6
2001
* Dragon Ball
* Cardcaptor Sakura
* Batman Beyond
* Outlaw Star
* Zoids: New Century Zero
* Mobile Suit Gundam
* 08th MS Team
* Gundam 0080
* The Big O
2002
* He-Man and the Masters of the Universe
* Transformers: Armada
* G.I. Joe
* Hamtaro
* Samurai Jack
* G Gundam
2003
* Martian Successor Nadesico
* Gigantor
* Dai-Guard
* Yu Yu Hakusho
* Rurouni Kenshin
* .hack//SIGN
* Yu-Gi-Oh!
* Cyborg 009
* IGPX: Micro Series
* Justice League
* SD Gundam
* Star Wars: Clone Wars
2004
* Duel Masters
* Astro Boy
* Transformers: Energon
* Jackie Chan Adventures
* Dragon Ball GT
* Gundam Seed
* Megas XLR
* Teen Titans
* Justice League Unlimited
* Rave Master
2005
* D.I.C.E.
* Zatch Bell!
* The Batman
* One Piece
* Transformers: Cybertron
* Yu-Gi-Oh!
* Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo
* IGPX
* Naruto
2006
* Wulin Warriors
* Pokémon Chronicles
* Fantastic Four: World's Greatest Heroes
* Pokémon: Battle Frontier
* Yu-Gi-Oh! GX
* MÄR
* The Prince of Tennis
2007
* Storm Hawk
* Mega Man Star Force
* Ben 10
2008
* Bakugan Battle Brawlers
* Blue Dragon
* Ben 10: Alien Force

If memory serves me correctly, I primarily watched from 1997-2003. My viewing began to falter and peter out about 2004-2005 and by 2006, I had stopped watching altogether (college and growing up SUCKS).

Regardless, I have Toonami to thank for introducing me to not only some incredibly awesome and classic shows (like Thundercats, Voltron, and Ronin Warriors) but also planting and fostering my love for anime. Before Toonami came about, there wasn't much of an anime outlet for kids my age on television (unless you were one of those rich families with the 30,000 channels...jerks), so Toonami served to bring about a generation or two of anime fans!

HELL! Toonami dedicated an ENTIRE MONTH to honor the legendary anime director Hayao Myazaki. Showcasing his movies (Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke, Castle in the Sky, Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind) all month gave many new anime viewers something drool over and older anime viewers a chance to revel in true animated art!

Not only THAT but to keep viewers roped into the "feel" of Toonami, Cartoon Network created several Total Immersion Events (TIEs) that were interactive adventures that TOM and SARA went on inbetween shows. The kids viewing could go online and take part in the adventure via minigames and other nifty tidbits! This was awesome programming that made you want to watch both shows AND commercials for fear of missing one action-pumping moment!

But, I digress, Toonami was a phenomenon for what it was. It even broadcast the midnight Saturday run for many years, showcasing popular anime with all the blood and violence intact for the more mature viewers. And, to top it off, they did this TWO YEARS before Adult Swim came along and eventually stole that time slot away. Granted, as Cartoon Network began gearing more for the younger generation, the midnight run was removed and the daytime programming became more...er...unbearable. Eventually, Toonami's four hour time block as reduced to two, and than it was canceled altogether last year.

TOM's fourth and final incarnation
(Drastically different AND kid-friendly?? Clearly to keep in-step with their abysmal programming)

Now, what was left in Toonami's wake to fill the void of actiona-adventure shows and whatnot? Well, let me show you...

• Total Drama Island/Action - has to be the most BLATANT pandering to preteens I've ever seen.
• 6teen - ANOTHER show pandering to preteens, cliques, and stereotypes
• Stoked - IS CARTOON NETWORK TRYING TO BECOME NICKELODEON OR THE DISNEY CHANNEL?!?!
• Bakugan - Pokemon ripoff
• Johnny Test - CN's attempt at bringing the old spark back like they did with Dexter's Lab and whatnot...but it's a failure
• Batman: The Brave and the Bold - ONLY decent show worth watching these days
• Any of their live action shows - ......NO. You're CARTOON Network. Stick with your guns and stop trying to be everyone else!
• Adult Swim - has gone severely downhill since the older days

And there you have it. The birth, life, and death of one of the greatest blocks of programming to have ever hit young adolescent programming. Now, my generation having been raised on anime and action, has to watch the next being raised on preteen garbage. It's a sad thing to view, but perhaps things will come full circle in another generation or so and the kids after THIS up-and-coming generation will have something like Toonami...or maybe the generation after that.

Toonami 1997-2008

"Well, this is the end, beautiful friends. After more than 11 years, this, is Toonami's final broadcast. It's been a lot of fun, and we'd like to thank each and every one of you who made this journey with us. Toonami wouldn't have been anything without you. Hopefully we've left you with some good memories. So, until we meet again, stay gold. Bang."

Stay gold, indeed.