FREE puppy!
EDIT: Man, that got flagged quick!
Screenshot of my work!
The rantings of a gamer/writer/actor/slacker kinda guy who merely is looking for the purpose in life through these mediums.
Showing posts with label Miscellaneous. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Miscellaneous. Show all posts
Sunday, May 20, 2012
FREE PUPPY
I...I got a little desperate for dates...
FREE puppy!
EDIT: Man, that got flagged quick!
Screenshot of my work!
FREE puppy!
EDIT: Man, that got flagged quick!
Screenshot of my work!
Friday, May 18, 2012
First Thanksgiving Alone: A Play-by-Play of the Average Slacker
This is my first Thanksgiving alone, so I figured I would chronicle the amazingly epic experience of spending it alone for all my readers to enjoy. Let's dive in!
8:15 am: Roommate wakes me up to ask if I can give him a ride to work in an hour. I, being the level-headed individual that I am, hurl a sword in his general direction. Apparently, I muttered something about agreeing to it.
9:15 am: I stumble out of the sheet on the floor that I count as my bed and find my roommate. He casually informs me that it's 40 degrees out. I hate him a little more with each passing moment.
9:20 am: I proceed to put on layers consisting of pajama pants, jeans, a Middle Eastern kurtas, a leather jacket, my slippers, and my newly-acquired Spider-Man crochet hat. I am the cold weather warrior.
9:30 am: I take my roommate to his soul-crushing corporate-owned retail job that doesn't even close on one of the two big holidays of the year. I would fear more for his existence if I actually cared more.
9:45 am: I return home and settle into the couch. My OTHER roommate heads out to go to her family's place. I feel a slight pang of regret that I can't do the same thing, but realize that I can fill that void with leftover pizza.
9:50 am: Filling the void never tasted so good.
10:00 am: I settle into the couch with Netflix playing on the main computer and my laptop in front of me. My phone next to me and wireless mouse connected to the Netflix computer. Beside THAT a mountain of sodas. All in all, my setup is a monument to utter laziness and desire to never get up from this spot.
11:30 am: Decide to write this article in hopes that someone may find it amusing.
11:35 am: Realize that writing an article about my Thanksgiving alone is coolant-drinkingly depressing.
11:37 am: I start adding liquor to my sodas.
1:00 pm: After several hours straight of watching Scrubs and the dawning realization that none of my roomies will actually be returning anytime soon, I decide to do what any sensible person would: throw myself into a fantasy world.
1:01 pm: I turn on Skyrim for the first time. God save me.
4:07 pm: I realize what a horrible person I am as I steal from every character I come across and then sell them back their own belongings. I decide to save what little self respect I have and quit Skyrim for now.
4:08 pm: I also now realize that 4.5 hours of consistent drinking have had the adverse effect of making the characters in Skyrim address me directly. I'm thinking I used too much vodka. Or that I used just the right amount of vodka over a period of several hours.
4:30 pm: Going back to watch Scrubs. However, there seems to be a pink-clad ninja in the corner watching me watch Scrubs. This could be bad.
5:00 pm: The ninja isn't actually a bad guy. He's politely informed me that he's merely the Thanksgiving ninja, roaming the land for people alone on the holiday to keep them company. He's also arranging all the shoes in the apartment in some strange order involving color, size, material, style, and how often they're worn. I casually let him know that his efforts are in vain, that his work will be destroyed upon my roommates' return. He casually responds by telling me to shut up and drink more.
5:01 pm: I do what the ninja tells me to.
5:15 pm: I don't remember the characters in Scrubs being able to climb walls like Spider-Man. I then realize that I've lied down on my side.
5:49 pm: I don't remember how, but I've somehow found my way to bathroom. The toilet, I realize, looks incredibly inviting. I proceed to hug it for a while. Go team.
6:49 pm: Mr. Toilet wakes me up from my nap and I stumble my way back to the main room. I trip over a basket I didn't remember being there. I damn my roommates to blackest pits of hell for their negligence. I could use a smoke.
6:53 pm: I now realize that Mother Nature is against me and refuses to let me go out and smoke in comfort. I knew this day would come and I am prepared.
6:55 pm: Letting Mother nature know that you are not her bitch by stepping onto your parking lot-side balcony nude is CLEARLY the best use of my time. The pride I feel in my manliness is almost worth the shrinkage that occurs. Almost.
6:58 pm: My penis gets stuck to a cold railing. Uh-oh.
7:25 pm: After a carefully executed MacGuyver-esque maneuver involving a lighter, one of the balcony chairs, and a nearby squirrel, I finally free my junk from it's icy prison and quickly make my way back inside. I believe my point was made.
9:46 pm: I wake up, vaguely remembering a decision to warm myself up with more liquor. The Netflix has timed out, my sodas are empty, I've eaten all the leftover pizza, and no one has texted/called me. I briefly consider condemning my soul to another few hours of Skyrim, but I reconsider.
9:50 pm: I fall asleep.
The next day, I woke up to find my roommates returning from their various homes. At some point in the night, I had proceeded to mix all of the shampoos into one big tub, leaving a note simply stating "This is for the weekend."
Dammit.
I really wish I could remember what that was for. HAD to have been important.
8:15 am: Roommate wakes me up to ask if I can give him a ride to work in an hour. I, being the level-headed individual that I am, hurl a sword in his general direction. Apparently, I muttered something about agreeing to it.
9:15 am: I stumble out of the sheet on the floor that I count as my bed and find my roommate. He casually informs me that it's 40 degrees out. I hate him a little more with each passing moment.
9:20 am: I proceed to put on layers consisting of pajama pants, jeans, a Middle Eastern kurtas, a leather jacket, my slippers, and my newly-acquired Spider-Man crochet hat. I am the cold weather warrior.
9:30 am: I take my roommate to his soul-crushing corporate-owned retail job that doesn't even close on one of the two big holidays of the year. I would fear more for his existence if I actually cared more.
9:45 am: I return home and settle into the couch. My OTHER roommate heads out to go to her family's place. I feel a slight pang of regret that I can't do the same thing, but realize that I can fill that void with leftover pizza.
9:50 am: Filling the void never tasted so good.
10:00 am: I settle into the couch with Netflix playing on the main computer and my laptop in front of me. My phone next to me and wireless mouse connected to the Netflix computer. Beside THAT a mountain of sodas. All in all, my setup is a monument to utter laziness and desire to never get up from this spot.
11:30 am: Decide to write this article in hopes that someone may find it amusing.
11:35 am: Realize that writing an article about my Thanksgiving alone is coolant-drinkingly depressing.
11:37 am: I start adding liquor to my sodas.
1:00 pm: After several hours straight of watching Scrubs and the dawning realization that none of my roomies will actually be returning anytime soon, I decide to do what any sensible person would: throw myself into a fantasy world.
1:01 pm: I turn on Skyrim for the first time. God save me.
4:07 pm: I realize what a horrible person I am as I steal from every character I come across and then sell them back their own belongings. I decide to save what little self respect I have and quit Skyrim for now.
4:08 pm: I also now realize that 4.5 hours of consistent drinking have had the adverse effect of making the characters in Skyrim address me directly. I'm thinking I used too much vodka. Or that I used just the right amount of vodka over a period of several hours.
4:30 pm: Going back to watch Scrubs. However, there seems to be a pink-clad ninja in the corner watching me watch Scrubs. This could be bad.
5:00 pm: The ninja isn't actually a bad guy. He's politely informed me that he's merely the Thanksgiving ninja, roaming the land for people alone on the holiday to keep them company. He's also arranging all the shoes in the apartment in some strange order involving color, size, material, style, and how often they're worn. I casually let him know that his efforts are in vain, that his work will be destroyed upon my roommates' return. He casually responds by telling me to shut up and drink more.
5:01 pm: I do what the ninja tells me to.
5:15 pm: I don't remember the characters in Scrubs being able to climb walls like Spider-Man. I then realize that I've lied down on my side.
5:49 pm: I don't remember how, but I've somehow found my way to bathroom. The toilet, I realize, looks incredibly inviting. I proceed to hug it for a while. Go team.
6:49 pm: Mr. Toilet wakes me up from my nap and I stumble my way back to the main room. I trip over a basket I didn't remember being there. I damn my roommates to blackest pits of hell for their negligence. I could use a smoke.
6:53 pm: I now realize that Mother Nature is against me and refuses to let me go out and smoke in comfort. I knew this day would come and I am prepared.
6:55 pm: Letting Mother nature know that you are not her bitch by stepping onto your parking lot-side balcony nude is CLEARLY the best use of my time. The pride I feel in my manliness is almost worth the shrinkage that occurs. Almost.
6:58 pm: My penis gets stuck to a cold railing. Uh-oh.
7:25 pm: After a carefully executed MacGuyver-esque maneuver involving a lighter, one of the balcony chairs, and a nearby squirrel, I finally free my junk from it's icy prison and quickly make my way back inside. I believe my point was made.
9:46 pm: I wake up, vaguely remembering a decision to warm myself up with more liquor. The Netflix has timed out, my sodas are empty, I've eaten all the leftover pizza, and no one has texted/called me. I briefly consider condemning my soul to another few hours of Skyrim, but I reconsider.
9:50 pm: I fall asleep.
The next day, I woke up to find my roommates returning from their various homes. At some point in the night, I had proceeded to mix all of the shampoos into one big tub, leaving a note simply stating "This is for the weekend."
Dammit.
I really wish I could remember what that was for. HAD to have been important.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Fight Back Against Internet Censorship!
Not a pretty sight, is it?
Currently, the government is trying to pass two bills, SOPA and PIPA, in an attempt to fight against online piracy. However, both bills present a threat to the free and open Internet that we have all come to love and enjoy.
I, honestly, can't explain the details behind these bills and how they endanger everything. However, plenty of sites are currently participating in a Net-wide "blackout" in protest. Their sites now link to various explanations and encouragements to contact your local congressman/representative about SOPA.
A few of them are linked here:
Google.
Wikipedia
Imgur
Mozilla
And that's only a small fraction. For a full list of sites that are blacking out, and for more information on the bills and how you can fight them, visit SOPAstrike
We can make a difference! Fight back against Internet censorship!
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Holy Shit It's From the Past!
While doing the thing normal bored people do, Googling myself, I came across an old page that was thought to be lost. Behold, my old Rocky Horror Picture Show cast member profile page!
Fishnet Inc. Cast Profile: Jason
Fishnet Inc. Cast Profile: Jason
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Warrior's Dance
Down.
Up. Swing.
Right. Thrust.
Slide. Duck. Left.
Swing.
Down. Duck.
Right. Up. Up. Left.
Up. Thrust. Slide. Swing.
Duck. Thrust. Down. Thrust.
Swing. Swing. Swing. Swing. Left.
Back.
Duck. Thrust. Down. Swing. Down. Left. Right. Up. Slide. Swing.
Done.
Up. Swing.
Right. Thrust.
Slide. Duck. Left.
Swing.
Down. Duck.
Right. Up. Up. Left.
Up. Thrust. Slide. Swing.
Duck. Thrust. Down. Thrust.
Swing. Swing. Swing. Swing. Left.
Back.
Duck. Thrust. Down. Swing. Down. Left. Right. Up. Slide. Swing.
Done.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Wordslinging Critic Update
It's been a while, and I've been a slacker, but I have a few reviews coming up. Be on the look out for the following:
- Thor
- Pirates of the Caribbean 4: On Stranger Tides
- Source Code
- Green Lantern
- Transformers 3
Always, thanks for reading/watching!
- Thor
- Pirates of the Caribbean 4: On Stranger Tides
- Source Code
- Green Lantern
- Transformers 3
Always, thanks for reading/watching!
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Doctor Who Delights: Adipose Rice Baby!
My girlfriend is pretty awesome. I just want to say that. Not only have I gotten her REALLY into Doctor Who (she's currently attempting to catch up with the new episodes before the next season begins) but she also fosters my love of the show in creative ways!
Ways like this!
Ways like this!
A little ride Adipose baby! Isn't it adorable!? AWWWWWWWWWWW!
She's amazing, I tell you.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Books You Should Look Into
Well...I've done it again.
This typically happens to me in some strange cyclical fashion, usually coming full circle every few months. Somehow, I'll accumulate several books that I find engaging and worthy of my time, only to realize that...well...I have several books that I find engaging and worthy of my time, but am lacking the time to read all of them!
Yes, yes...too much to read and too little time to read it all. However, I CAN do these works some justice and share them with you loyal readers out there. Do yourself a big favor and check these out if you get the chance, okay?
Garth Nix's "Abhorsen" Trilogy
I've only just begun this series, but I'm already entranced. The first book tells the tale of Sabriel, a young girl that suddenly finds thrust upon her the responsibility of being the "Abhorsen", a job held previously by her father. What is an "Abhorsen"? Well, as far as I can tell, it's a sort of necromancer that deals in keeping the dead things dead. A wonderfully creative and colorful world, this series is shaping up to be quite the enjoyable read.
"Dies the Fire" by S.M. Stirling
I'm actually rather ashamed of myself, as far as this one is concerned. This is a REALLY good book and yet I somehow find myself constantly putting it down and forgetting about it (definitely NOT a reflection on the quality of the work, I assure you). I guess I'm a bit hyperactive when it comes to reading material. Anyway, this is the first in a series describing a world where technology suddenly stops and the world is thrust back into the medieval days, people having to fend for themselves. Give it a look. Now.
"The Great Book of Amber" by Roger Zelazny
This is kind of a cheat, considering the "Great Book" is actually a compilation of all of Zelazny's "Amber" books, but he still wrote them all, so I'm sticking to it! Zelazny presents the reader not only a whole new world to experience, but an entirely different cosmos! At the center of all that is lies Amber, the one city from which all other cities are but shadows. And from Amber comes the nine princes of Amber. And with those princes comes back-stabbing, conflict, battle, etc. etc. etc.
"The Dresden Files" series by Jim Butcher
I'm sure many of you may be familiar with this one already, but if you aren't: SHAME ON YOU! I aim that admonishment at myself as well as you all, gentle readers, for I neglected this series for quite some time too. Chronicling the adventures of the "only wizard in the phonebook" Harry Dresden P.I., the reader gets thrown into a world very much like that of Joss Whedon's "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" if it were deeper, more complex, and more adult.
If you're a fan of science fiction, fantasy, science fantasy, good stories, or just books in general, check out any of the above titles. You won't be disappointed!
This typically happens to me in some strange cyclical fashion, usually coming full circle every few months. Somehow, I'll accumulate several books that I find engaging and worthy of my time, only to realize that...well...I have several books that I find engaging and worthy of my time, but am lacking the time to read all of them!
Yes, yes...too much to read and too little time to read it all. However, I CAN do these works some justice and share them with you loyal readers out there. Do yourself a big favor and check these out if you get the chance, okay?
Garth Nix's "Abhorsen" Trilogy
I've only just begun this series, but I'm already entranced. The first book tells the tale of Sabriel, a young girl that suddenly finds thrust upon her the responsibility of being the "Abhorsen", a job held previously by her father. What is an "Abhorsen"? Well, as far as I can tell, it's a sort of necromancer that deals in keeping the dead things dead. A wonderfully creative and colorful world, this series is shaping up to be quite the enjoyable read.
"Dies the Fire" by S.M. Stirling
I'm actually rather ashamed of myself, as far as this one is concerned. This is a REALLY good book and yet I somehow find myself constantly putting it down and forgetting about it (definitely NOT a reflection on the quality of the work, I assure you). I guess I'm a bit hyperactive when it comes to reading material. Anyway, this is the first in a series describing a world where technology suddenly stops and the world is thrust back into the medieval days, people having to fend for themselves. Give it a look. Now.
"The Great Book of Amber" by Roger Zelazny
This is kind of a cheat, considering the "Great Book" is actually a compilation of all of Zelazny's "Amber" books, but he still wrote them all, so I'm sticking to it! Zelazny presents the reader not only a whole new world to experience, but an entirely different cosmos! At the center of all that is lies Amber, the one city from which all other cities are but shadows. And from Amber comes the nine princes of Amber. And with those princes comes back-stabbing, conflict, battle, etc. etc. etc.
"The Dresden Files" series by Jim Butcher
I'm sure many of you may be familiar with this one already, but if you aren't: SHAME ON YOU! I aim that admonishment at myself as well as you all, gentle readers, for I neglected this series for quite some time too. Chronicling the adventures of the "only wizard in the phonebook" Harry Dresden P.I., the reader gets thrown into a world very much like that of Joss Whedon's "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" if it were deeper, more complex, and more adult.
If you're a fan of science fiction, fantasy, science fantasy, good stories, or just books in general, check out any of the above titles. You won't be disappointed!
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Video Series Ideas - Feedback Wanted!
Now, I have all these ideas brewing in my head for upcoming video series that I want to make and I wanted feedback from you, my readers/viewers/friends, about which you think would be entertaining to watch!
Thanks guys!
- Doctor WHO?: A Doctor-by-Doctor Analysis - this is an analysis of the entirety of the Doctor Who series. Each video will focus on one of the Doctor's incarnations, starting with the first. This will take a while considering I need to WATCH the entire series to get the necessary clips for the opening (or maybe I'll just search for the appropriate videos), but I believe this would be fun. AND it would allow non-Who watchers to get a taste for the sci-fi phenomenon.
- Lord of the Rings: The Other Fellowship - I had this idea today, actually. It's a parody comedy series about LOTR. The premise? A SECOND fellowship of inept rejects is sent after the first fellowship to deliver important information that Elrond forgot to give them. The second fellowship always seems to arrive just after the major events the first fellowship experiences, and have misadventures because of it. In the same vein as The Legend of Neil, I believe this could attract a large audience.
- Adaptation Decay - This is my reworked movie review idea. I scrapped my original "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" review (mostly because I thought it was crap), and came up with this idea instead. The premise of this series is that I'll critique (hopefully humorously) movies based on books, comic books, and television shows and point out how far from the source material they actually are.
- The Geekumentary - The first episode is out (as you already know), but I thought I'd ask for feedback. This series is going to focus, documentary style, on the geek culture and its various subgenres and aspects.
- Wordslinging Critic - This series, as you've seen from the written and video reviews, will focus mainly on current movies that I see and television programs. I'm mainly going to be sharing my thoughts in a serious manner in these particular videos, mostly off-the-cuff, unscripted streams of thought on whatever it is I'm reviewing.
- Let's Play - Everyone and their mother has done a Let's Play, and I'll be no exception. This video series will be me narrating (again, hopefully humorously) about a game I'm playing while the video shows the game being played by yours truly. I've started with "Star Trek: 25th Anniversary" as a testing platform for this series, so let me know what you think!
- Tabletop Connoisseur - I've had this one in my head since I started. The premise is that each video will highlight a board game or tabletop roleplaying game and explain how it's played, what the setting is, premise, etc. I'm also thinking about bringing in guests that are experienced in the particular games highlighted to explain about them in a more in-depth manner than I could give.
Thanks guys!
Thursday, September 2, 2010
New Show Pitch: Sextracurricular
I honestly think this could sell.
The premise is simple: a teacher that has sex with her students.
Wait! There's more!
She (aptly named Jennifer 'Jenny' Dicksin) has sex with her students, but she's been doing it for some time and has this system/routine down to the point where she won't get caught.
Add in a principal that suspects her and doesn't say anything, but instead tries to collect evidence to blackmail her; a teacher that has a crush on her but keeps getting slighted because of her obsession with teenage boys; a gay young man she helps come to terms with his preferences; possible lesbianism....the possibilities are endless!
This show could make millions! It's copyrighted, so don't get any ideas!
The premise is simple: a teacher that has sex with her students.
Wait! There's more!
She (aptly named Jennifer 'Jenny' Dicksin) has sex with her students, but she's been doing it for some time and has this system/routine down to the point where she won't get caught.
Add in a principal that suspects her and doesn't say anything, but instead tries to collect evidence to blackmail her; a teacher that has a crush on her but keeps getting slighted because of her obsession with teenage boys; a gay young man she helps come to terms with his preferences; possible lesbianism....the possibilities are endless!
This show could make millions! It's copyrighted, so don't get any ideas!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Blog: A Beginning
I have no idea why I'm doing this.
I was thinking "Hey! People might enjoy what I have to say! I should write a blog!"
Clearly, I'm insane for thinking this.
BUT write a blog, I shall. Hopefully some poor soul that's suffering from brain damage may find what I say amusing, insightful, or possibly useful.
Let's find out together!
I was thinking "Hey! People might enjoy what I have to say! I should write a blog!"
Clearly, I'm insane for thinking this.
BUT write a blog, I shall. Hopefully some poor soul that's suffering from brain damage may find what I say amusing, insightful, or possibly useful.
Let's find out together!
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